I am not amused with the "updates" to the Big Ten. The division names are ridiculous and the logo is even worse. The awards are not THAT bad, but good gray grief: they're seriously reaching on some of them.

Naming the Big Ten Awards: What was going on around THAT table?

Delany: "Let's pick a "best/most famous" from each school and name an award after them."

Universities: "But there are 18 awards! Some schools will get two!! Not fair!!!"

Delany: "OK, let's put TWO names on each award. That way everyone gets three, and we're all happy!"

Indiana: "Uh, guys, we can only come up with two..."

{Bickering over who gets Indiana's third slot...}

Delany: "Got it! We'll use someone from Chicago! That way, we can say we're honoring the history of the conference. It's brilliant. Now everyone shut up."

Northwestern: "Ummm... we've only got one..."

{Bickering breaks out again}

Delany: "Hey! HEY!!!" {Group quiets.} "Ohio State and Michigan are synonymous with Big Ten football. They get the extra spots."

Wisconsin: "NOT FAIR!!!!! They're the old powerhouses. We're the new! We should get an extra name too!"

Northwestern: "NO WAY!!!!! Do you know how lame we look if we can only come up with one?!"

Delany: "SILENCE!!!!!! OK, Nebraska, you're new. I'm taking away two of your spots. One goes to Wisconsin, the other to Ohio State. Is everybody happy now?"

Nebraska: "But..."

Delany: {Glares at Nebraska}"'But' WHAT?!!!"

Nebraska: "Umm. Nothing." {Goes off to the corner to sulk.}

Northwestern: "What about us? We only have one!"

Delany: "Fine! Iowa, you've screwed up A LOT this year. A LOT. One of your spots goes to Northwestern-- you can name it after your current coach. That should take care of everything."

Michigan: "HEY!!!!! Ohio State got five!!!!!!!!"

{Bickering breaks out again...}

(I initially posted this on the NCAAF threads. I tweaked it a bit and reposted it here.)