I figured I'd treat this like the MC blog to kick off our first Roast. Please view the list below to see the order that our roasters will go in. If you cannot blog on that given day please contact me ASAP. Also, don't wait until your day to start writing the blog. Go ahead and write the body of your roast so that you can add any additional shots at whomever as your time arrives.
1. Oso En Dallas-Sunday
3. DJ is Dr. Cool-Tuesday
6. Schwartz-Fri./Saturday: If he hasn't been hosed too bad by everyone. LOL
Remember, fashion your blog after this outline. If you want to go freelance, that's cool. Just keep it clean, funny, and respectful. It's not like you're Rodney Dangerfield or Don Rickels afterall.
1. Roast your co-roasters with pictures, jokes, stories, or comments. Keep it clean and in good fun. No insults or over the line burns.
2. Roast the person of honor. If you have to, ask some unique questions about the roastee. BS is a Broncos fan, so you could make some shots about them, or about his dislike of the SEC and their fans. You decide. Also, quoting comments from TD's, blogs, articles are always good as you may have read from my "Here's your sign" blogs.
3. Finish up with a witty comment or picture to round it all out. Also make sure to close with some sentiment of respect and fun.
Let me give you an example:
Before we set Steelercooz loose on Schwartz, there are a few things you should know about Cooz. There's a reason why he's the first to roast BS. As many of you might know, Steelercooz is quite the Guru here on FanNation. He often trains newbies in how to survive vicious attacks and blathering idiots on the site. Here's an example of one such conversation:
FanNation Newbie: I still don't understand how I'm going to beat that HOF TDer with this little ring.
Steelercooz: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!
Of course Cooz has many an enemy here on FanNation because of his rapier wit and his affiliation with a certain team in PA. However, his foes know of his prowess.
Bengals fan: [in reference to not wanting to attack Steelercooz' comment] But your ring! Don't you wear the schwartz too?
Ravens Fan: No, he got the upside. There are two sides to every schwartz. He got the upside, I got the downside.
Now just to give you a heads up, after this roast we're planning on branching out into new ventures so that the Lighter Side members can all retire early:
BSchwartz: Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the group is made. Lighter Side-the T-shirt, Lighter Side-the Coloring Book, Lighter Side-the Lunch box, Lighter Side-the Breakfast Cereal, Lighter Side-the Flame Thrower.
[turns it on]
Nomarfan, Oso, NCshvDavid & DJ: Ooooh!
BSchwartz: [reacts to FN User] The kids love this one.
[Steelercooz hands him a doll that looks likes BSchwartz]
BSchwartz: And last but not least, BSchwartz the doll, me.
BSchwartz Doll: May the Schwartz be with you!
BSchwartz: [kisses the doll] Adorable.
For those of you who haven't had the challenge of TDing the formidable Schwartz, here are two samples of what it's like going up against the master:
SEC Fan: Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: BSchwartz [camera moves in closer and closer during his dialog until it smashes into SEC Fan and knocks him out]
BSchwartz: Before you lose there is something you should know about us, SEC Fan.
SEC Fan: What?
BSchwartz: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
SEC Fan: What's that make us?
BSchwartz: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
And so my fellow Lighter Side friends and roasters, without further ado, let the roast begin, and may the Schwartz be with youuuyoyoy - oh what a world, what a world!