Pictures aren't really my thing, so I apologize.  

I think my favorite part about my boy Schwartz is our mutual disdain for Chargers coach Norv Turner. Here's a guy who had some moderate success earlier in his career, but since then, has been getting by on the talent of his players, but generally failing when it comes to actually coaching his way to victory.

Funny, he seems a lot like Schwartz's coach, Mike Shanahan. Two touchdown lead, playing a team with one weapon - a kick returner...yeah, let's kick him the ball! Why they don't just call him Lombardi is beyond me.  

Hey, did you guys know Schwartz is in Iraq? It's so understated on this site, you might have missed it. If somehow you did, remember, you can put a BS at the end of your ID to honor him. Apparently, typing "Bullsiht" at the end of your own name shows support for our friend.

Yep, he's defending the cause of freedom and fighting for the rights of all by logging on to FanNation each day and arguing with 1steelers about the broadcasting on the NFL Network. That's our tax dollars hard at work, right there. Giving Schwartz an M-16 and a T-1 line. If some enemy of our country comes up to him on a Throwdown, he's all "I'm B-Schwartz, B***H!"

He's the Chuck Norris of Fan Nation. Without the sandpapery beard.

Schwartz is a fine example of the American man. He's working hard in the military, he watches football, and he assumes his team's quarterback is actually good. 88.9 rating, alright, not bad. He also says Cutler is the next John Elway. Sure, if you ignore the enormous belt buckles, gomer accent, blank look on his face, and birthplace of Santa Claus, Indiana, he might as well be managing game-winning drives against Cleveland. Except when they play the Bears, of course. 

Probably will mimick Elway's career though. Wait until he's on his last breath to give him a 2,000 yard running back so he can win a championship.

"You kind of suck right now, but my dad says you COULD be really good someday!"
-Kyle, South Park

We kid with Schwartzy because we know he has a fantastic sense of humor. Apparently, so does that woman in all of his pictures. Holy cripes, Schwartzy! You pay her, don't lie to us.

To say she's out of his league doesn't do it justice. She is like the Boston Red Sox to his Santa Claus High School Junior Varsity team. I haven't seen a woman that hot since I looked at DJ's Prom date and thought of her exact opposite. 

DJ and Schwartz...hmmm...sounds like a cartoon radio show. But nice, easy-to-remember names. You guys don't try to over-do anything. The head of this group, however...Oso en Dallas214*BS:#21. Do you not have a delete key? I think you forgot the next 54 digits of Pi. It's in Spanish, then it's in numerals, then symbols, then...who knows? It's sort of like listening to a live interview with Manny Ramirez.

There are no osos in Dallas. No polar bears either. It's that fine attention to detail that brought a punk like me to this group, and it's the reason I just wasted a few minutes of your life.

Schwartzy, it's all in good fun, buddy! Best of luck to you, it's good to see, regardless of reasons, there are still a few Americans who simply do their jobs without complaining or acting as if they're more important than other people. You paying attention, Mr. Saban?

Thank you...I've got CDs for sale in the back, please tip your waitress.