ABigDumbOgre's Blog
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The inspiration for this article came to me last night. It's not another CBB article (sorry Ass, you're welcome everyone else); it's something more. What follows contains sentimental thoughts, touchy feelings and above average rambling levels. This was all written as I thought of it, with me not going back to change anything other than this paragraph. Reading it again, my tenses are weird and it's not the best. Oh well. Read on at your own leisure.

I'm lying in bed, unable to sleep, reflecting on the day that had passed and life in general. As most of you know, yesterday was Mother's Day. I had just spent the day eating lunch at TGI Friday's, driving an hour both ways to see the incredibly average Thor (even the previews were average!) and enjoying some ice cream from the place down the street from my house (well technically on the road my street is off of, but that's just semantics). While this would have made for an enjoyable day regardless of circumstance, today felt extra enjoyable, extra special to me. Because it was the first of many more Mother's Days that I look forward and hope to enjoy, days I will no longer take for granted.

Sometimes, the true meaning of things is difficult to fathom. 2 years ago, I was living life as normal as I knew. I had seen my father walk out on my family, and had moved on. One year later, I was hoping more than anything that my mom would be okay.

As many of you know, about a year and a half ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I struggle to remember the exact day, but quite frankly I don't remember much. The days are blurred together, a mixture of grief, sadness, and a general numbness to the world. I thought my mom had proven her strength when she had soldiered through a less than stellar relationship without missing a beat. I was horrified to learn she would have to fight through more hardship: the cruel and unforgiving reality of cancer.

My mom managed to beat cancer, never once losing her spirit and strength through the ordeal. She had every right to be bitter and angry, but instead chose to stay strong. She did it for ms and my brother, and it meant the world to us. It still does. She would not let breast cancer, the removal of thyroids or even a growth in her uterus discourage her. She stayed strong, she took it all in stride and she passed every test flung her way. Today, she still hasn't looked back.

Since then I've done a lot of reflecting on my life. I've looked back on it, and I haven't liked everything I've seen. To be honest, I took my mom for granted. My mother gave up her career to be a stay at home mom and raise her two sons, because she wanted to be the one taking care of us, not some daycare or babysitter. Even when my parents were together, my dad was hardly around. It was my mom who was always there for me, helping me with schoolwork, fixing my boo boos or just having a good time with us. She didn't give in after the affairs or the divorce, she kept on raising us to be good men. For as long as I can remember, she's been my hero. And yet, I never really appreciated her as much as I should.

I watched my mom revive news nobody ever should. I watched her fight an illness that too many do, suffer a treatment that is almost too painful to bear, and still stay strong. To this day, her right arm aches from time to time and she has chemically induced hot flashes that seem unbearable many times a day (and will for over two more years). And yet, she is as stubborn as she was before. As positive and as kind, as loving and as caring. She's still my hero.

I never truly appreciated all she has done for me. All my life, I've taken her for granted, as the certainty in my life who could do or fix anything. All of that has changed. I love every day I get to wake up and know my mom is there for me. This mothers day is the first one where my mom's health seems certain, and it is a special one for me.

As I lay here, typing out my thoughts on this frustrating iPod touch keyboard, I'm not really thinking of this article. I'm thinking about my mother; how much she means to me, and how much I love her. I refuse to let another day pass where I take her for granted, one where I don't relish the fact that she is still here with me on this planet. This Mother's Day marks the beginning of many days (not just this holiday) I plan on letting my mom know how much she means to me. Because, when you think about it, there isn't a whole lot in life that means more than family. I've discovered - comprehended really - that out in a way I hope nobody else has to.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. May it be just one of many special days for you and your family.

May 9, 2011  03:02 PM ET

Good blog. Hope you let your mom read it. Glad shes OK.

Comment #2 has been removed
May 9, 2011  03:06 PM ET

Well done Ogre.

May 9, 2011  03:09 PM ET

Great article man. I had a similar situation a little over a year. My best friend dropped dead while playing softball at the United States Merchant Marine Academy. Up until then, I took my friends and family totally for granted and I wasn't a very good friend or sibling. After that day, I re-examined my life and made sure all my friends and family knew how much they meant to me each and every day.

Cancer's a **** and anyone who survives it is an incredibly strong person.

Comment #5 has been removed
May 9, 2011  03:21 PM ET

Great job, Ogre. I'm a momma's boy at heart as well.

May 9, 2011  03:21 PM ET
QUOTE(#6):

Great job, Ogre. I'm a momma's boy at heart as well.

Or even *mama's

May 9, 2011  03:42 PM ET

I personally can't stand idiots who call athletes their heroes.

People like your mother Ogre or the soldiers fighting for our country should be known as heroes. Not some athletes that get paid millions of dollars to play games that we all played as children.

I might blog on this.

May 9, 2011  03:46 PM ET

Nice, Ogre.

May 9, 2011  05:35 PM ET

Nicely done, Ogre.

May 9, 2011  05:48 PM ET

Excellent.

May 9, 2011  05:49 PM ET

Great blog Ogre!

May 9, 2011  06:41 PM ET

Great blog, Ogre. This brought tears to my eyes.

Comment #14 has been removed
May 9, 2011  07:22 PM ET

I mean this in the most sincere/positive sense possible:

YEAH!!!

Ogre, this is one of the most well thought out, most sincere things I have read on this site (I don't know if that is saying much considering other things, but nonetheless!) I think the realization that you shouldn't take your primary caregiver for granted is quite powerful and your mother would be proud of what you said here.

Comment #16 has been removed
May 9, 2011  08:58 PM ET
QUOTE(#14):

This subject hits very close to me as well. My father died of cancer after a 3 year battle when I was 15 years old.These are the people who should be your heroes. Not athletes, not movie stars, and not millionaires. Well done Ogre.

100000% agree.

May 10, 2011  12:28 AM ET

Great job Ogre. Like MMT this hits home for me too. My brother was diagnosed with a form of Leukemia at a very young age. then not too long ago had a flare up and a scare with it again. My aging grandmother currently has lung cancer and we do not know if she will make it. my grandfather died many years ago from lung cancer as well. Anyways, that was great Ogre. Wish you and your mom the best.

May 10, 2011  06:15 AM ET

Gotta love mom.....!

 
May 10, 2011  07:54 AM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Great job Ogre. Like MMT this hits home for me too. My brother was diagnosed with a form of Leukemia at a very young age. then not too long ago had a flare up and a scare with it again. My aging grandmother currently has lung cancer and we do not know if she will make it. my grandfather died many years ago from lung cancer as well. Anyways, that was great Ogre. Wish you and your mom the best.

I wish you and your family the best.
Dang, you guys got hit hard with it.

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