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In this day and age, you can find out everything about player simply by googling them. And with 9.6 billion hits a day, it's become a verb.

Google Player Reputation Formula:

Player X +  is (and wait for the recommended results)

Note: The first thing you should know is that Google is homophobic and extremely negative no matter how non-controversial a player is. Examples:

 1. Drew Brees.

Drew Brees is....a jerk

                      ....overrated

                      ....gay

                      ....a republican

                      ....scary accurate

Analysis: Unbelieveable. What has Drew Brees ever done to you, Google?

 

2. Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow is....gay

                    ....a virgin

                    ....a **** without the bag

                    .....not a virgin

                    .....stupid

Analysis: I understand with Tebow's girlfriend, it's easy to think that he's not a virgin. But he claims it's true, so we'll just have to wait and see, and so will he. 

 

3. Chris Bosh.

Chris Bosh is....gay

                     ....soft

                     ....ugly

                     ....an ostrich

                     ....overrated

Analysis: I guess being the third wheel makes you gay?

Oh and the ostrich suggestion is HILAIRIOUS.

____________________________________________

Now for the controversial personalities:

 

 1. Lebron James.

Lebron James is....gay

                         ....a **** without the bag

                         ....better than Kobe

                         ....overrated

                         ....ugly

Analysis: The Decision (TV program). Enough Said. 

 

2. Michael Vick.

Michael Vick is....a hero

                      ....a scum

                      ....a **** without the bag

                      ....a changed man

                      ....a scumbag

Analysis: Besides the first & fourth suggestion, dog lovers must also love computers.

 

3. Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods is....god

                       ....done

                       ....dating

                       ....finished

                       ....asian

Analysis: One car accident has never produced so many perverted jokes before. 

 

4. Cam Newton.

Cam Newton is....an idiot

                       ....a **** without the bag

                       ....a cheater

                       ....dumb

                       ....a bust

Analysis: We'll have to wait and see on the last one. 

 

5. JaMarcus Russell.

JaMarcus Russell is....broke

                              ....a great player

 

Analysis: As for one of the biggest busts in NFL history whose contract gave him 38 million dollars guaranteed...

________________________________

 

As for Celebrity Entertainers:

1. Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga is....a man

                    ....ugly

                    ....unoriginal tumblr

                    ....a hermaphrodite

                    ....the devil

Analysis: No comment. 

 

2. Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber is....gay

                       ....a girl

                       ....a 51 year old

                       ....dead

                       ....51

Analysis: He's got more lovers than haters. So he must have ALOT of lovers.

 

3. Rebecca Black.

Rebecca Black is....dead

       .                 ....a joke

                         ....ugly

                         ....terrible

                         ....horrible

Analysis: I cry every Friday. 

____________________________________________

NFL/NBA/MLB/NHL/MLS

1. The NFL.

The NFL is....modern day slavery

                ....fixed

                ....rigged

                ....a monopoly

                ....like modern day slavery

Analysis: In an interview with Yahoo's Doug Farrar, the Viking's Adrian Peterson compared the NFL Business to "Modern Day Slavery"

 

2. The NBA.

The NBA is....rigged

                ....fixed

                ....a joke

                ....fake

                ....full of thugs

Analysis: Fake? What?


3. MLB.

MLB is....epic.

           ....always epic

           ....rigged

           ....a joke

           ....boring

Analysis:  MLB's new campaign is "MLB Always Epic" & with the salary cap rules, some would argue that Major League Baseball is rigged because a team like the Yankees with a high salary cap is put at an advantage over the Florida Marlins, low salary caps of the league.

 

4. The NHL.

The NHL is....fixed

                ....a joke

                ....dead

 Analysis: Apparently, no one has noticed that the 2004 NHL Lockout is over. 

 

 5. MLS.

MLS is....a joke

          ....here are you ready

          ....getting better

          ....boring

          ....growing

Analysis: Is Major League Soccer growing or failing???

______________________________________________

Every loves Google. 

However, like most of you, I think Google is....evil

What do you think?

June 3, 2011  02:34 PM ET

the nba is...fixed, baseball is...boring, vick is...given a bad rap, bosh is...the love child of sam cassell and an alien. beiber and black are: i don't really care.

and pau gasol is the ostrich.

June 3, 2011  06:11 PM ET

This blog is...open to invited readers only

...lgbtia positive

...full of crap

...not cached by google

...a pipe bomb

Google's words, not mine! I just had to play along.

June 3, 2011  06:12 PM ET
QUOTE(#2):

This blog is...open to invited readers only ...lgbtia positive ...full of crap ...not cached by google ...a pipe bombGoogle's words, not mine! I just had to play along.

Amusing blog. I enjoyed it. And I'm leaning towards agreement that Google is evil.

June 4, 2011  12:10 AM ET

What does BING say about these guys?

June 4, 2011  12:41 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

What does BING say about these guys?

Next post?

June 4, 2011  01:25 AM ET

My daughter was very upset with you because she insisted Justin Bieber is not gay. I had to explain your post by typing 'Justin Bieber is' into google so she could see the drop down menu and I'm pleased to report she forgives you now!

June 4, 2011  01:32 AM ET
QUOTE(#6):

My daughter was very upset with you because she insisted Justin Bieber is not gay. I had to explain your post by typing 'Justin Bieber is' into google so she could see the drop down menu and I'm pleased to report she forgives you now!

yes, I apologize but I tried to take a screen-shot of the results but the site's posting format wouldn't let me. Thanks for the read and comment.

June 4, 2011  02:31 AM ET
QUOTE(#7):

yes, I apologize but I tried to take a screen-shot of the results but the site's posting format wouldn't let me. Thanks for the read and comment.

What with the Justin Bieber being 51?

June 4, 2011  03:45 AM ET
QUOTE(#8):

What with the Justin Bieber being 51?

the onion did a spoof on him being 51 -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc3jMoFJrBQ

June 4, 2011  04:39 AM ET
QUOTE(#9):

the onion did a spoof on him being 51 -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc3jMoFJrBQ



Haha. Makes sense now.

June 4, 2011  12:29 PM ET
QUOTE(#4):

What does BING say about these guys?

Bing is...

not google
better than google
stupid

I had to find out

 
June 4, 2011  12:40 PM ET
QUOTE(#11):

Bing is... not googlebetter than googlestupidI had to find out

I experimented with Bing just now, and it is awfully similar. Nevertheless, google is evil

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