Most of the laughs to this point have been at my expense. Time for these guys to get their due.
Steerlercooz, what can I say about the only Steeler fan in the US that couldn't even score Cassidy's phone number? You kid about Jay Cutler, and I really thought about ripping into Big Ben, but the more that I thought about it I actually like Ben Roethlisberger. As most Steeler fans know Ben wears the number 7 to honor John Elway. Ben didn't stop there, no, every time he comes to Denver he does his best John Elway; he finds open Broncos the entire game, and if it is close he always makes sure the Broncos pull it out in the 4th quarter. While I may be warming up to this Cutler guy when the Steelers are in town there is NO DOUBT in my mind that Ben Roethlisberger is the best QB that the BRONCOS have.
(Big Ben helped Denver get at least one home victory this year)
DJ was second on our list of roasters, but he declined to show. I guess he was either intimidated by Cooz's one liners, or maybe he was just busy with the ladies. HA-HA, who are we kidding? DJ is to girls what Alex Rodriguez is to the playoffs, strike out after strike out after strike out until it just gets sad and he goes home.
(A-Rod feels your pain DJ)
Nomarfan also dropped out, Nomarfan was true to the man for which he is named. As soon as we expect something from him he's out for 2 weeks.
David, David, David. The only person that is proud to be from Shreveport. I would put that I was from Baghdad before I claimed "shv". Now as most of us know David is a new father, so a big congratulations to him on that great honor. He has a picture of his new baby on here, but none of his wife. I was curious so I asked some of the mods, they told me that he did have them up but they were seen as vulgar and he had to pull them down. His other problem came with those tiny little picture boxes, to get a woman that size you must need 4 or 5 of those boxes.
(David is proud of his new home)
Oso, what can I say about you that hasn't already been said about Carrot Top? I mean I'm not trying to say that you aren't funny, I'm just saying I have seen more people laughing at obituaries. Everyone kids Oso for all of the pictures he puts in his blogs, but what do you expect from someone who just finished reading the largest book in his life "Green Eggs and Ham". I'm proud of Oso, it only took him 2 months to get through it. Oso was able to talk our other roasters into doing this gig, but don't let him and Cooz fool you, they know each other outside of fannation. Don't believe me? Just take a look.
(want to see Cooz and Oso in action? http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1128629373)
As for all of you, you had 2 common themes. First there was Spaceballs, nothing like getting ALL of your jokes from a 20 year old movie. What's next? Are you going to use some Ronald Reagan jokes? Maybe drop a one liner you heard on Sunny and Cher. Also we have the jokes about my looks (no Cooz I don't pay her), listening to this group talk about my looks would be like listening to Cam Cameron give a lecture about how to become a successful NFL head coach.
(Cam tells us how to become a champion)
All kidding aside it is a great honor to be the first person roasted. I created this site to get away from the people on here that take themselves too seriously, and with the help of people like Oso we have been able to accomplish that. I want extend my thanks to every person that took part in this roast, and my condolences to whomever is selected for the next one. Not to mention the people on this site that have shown their amazing support of me and my "little vacation from Shreveport", the group in my honor means a whole lot to me, as well as any member that has shown support in any way. This has all been in good fun, I have been great, and David I'm taking you up on the free beer offer.