Because I apparently am not. Today, as I did last week, I will be taking my daughter to Walmart to look for a Barn to house her gazillion My Little Pony's
I blogged a couple of weeks ago about my 5 yr old - "going on 15 - You can't tell her anything because she knows it all daughter", and games we like to play when taking a long drive. (If you're confused now, go back and read it so you understand where I'm going with all this).
After breaking my heart by picking Tony over Little E and Varitek over Lowell (both of which by the way just happen to be the favorites of my sister - (Megan's favorite aunt who spoils her rotten), we bet on the Pats and Eagles game. I wanted the points, she wouldn't let me have them because it was "cheating" to get points you didn't earn. If I could just get those points, I was convinced that one of her "my little ponies" would be swimming with the fishes in Buzzards Bay by Tuesday morning. Sadly, I ended up taking her to Walmart and buying a new super deluxe Wake Up Sunshine Pony or whatever that thing is. After reading the blog, some of you (laughingly) joked that I should let her pick against me and my totally "For Amusement Purposes Only" football card. So I did. And to those who suggested it? Thank you SOOOOO Much. You can paypal me your donations....She picked straight up but of course, I had to pick against the spread , you know, *for amusement purposes only*.
But first, an amusing antecdote because I have to say, my kid just cracks me up sometimes. There are days when I want to tear my hair out. Any of you that are single parents of a 5 yr old and have them 24/7 know what I mean. Then there are times that she just makes me laugh so hard that I just want to SQUEEZE her...She rarely sees or talks to her dad. After 8 years of marriage he decided he wanted to race cars on a dirt track, pick up a trashy hick groupie and I threw him out. Those two things mean more to him than his daughter. He doesnt call her, he doesnt want to be a part of her life. I could force it but why? If this is what he wants, then so be it. Its his loss. I'm not saying that for sympathy, believe me, she doesnt need it. She's a beautiful, well adjusted, happy, pain in my **** half the time- kid. And I love her more than pizza (a phrase we use to each other).. Anyway, I digress. We were driving on Mt Moosilauke Highway in New Hampshire, Megan is sitting in her carseat in the back munching on Doritos. It was FRIGID out. Even with the heat on full blast, I was FREEZING.
I said to her, "Megan its soooo cold.."
She answers "How cold is it?".
I said "Its so cold, even the trees are wearing mittens".
She's staring out the window and says to me "I don't see any mittens on the trees".
I said to her "Use your imagination Meg".
A couple minutes later, Im thinking those chips sound good.. "Megan, can I have a Dorito please?" I put my hand out behind the seat. She puts a chip on it. I bring my hand back and I have a crumb of a chip, a speck, not even worthy of eating. Its practically non existent. "
I look in my rear view mirror at her and said, "Megan, thats a crumb! Its not even a whole chip". She looks back and me, dead up serious and without a second thought says to me "Use your imagination".
So onto this weekends football games. Megan picked straight up and I picked with or without the points. Tonites game while it matters to me because its the Patriots- mean nothing with the bet I have with Megan. She's already beaten me. She had me beat before the afternoon games even started.
Megan went 9-5 on the games this week while I was an abysmal 7-7. I only have that 7th win because I got 7 points in the Indy game - Had I gone head to head with her, I would have been 6-8. She kicked my tushka on the Buffalo, Minnesota and TB games while my Raiders kept her Broncos chomping on their bit trying to take off. I also kcicked her tiny tushka on the Carolina game - The infamous "Snowball" game. (Again, if you're confused, go back and read her picks from last week). Those Four Nine guys truly are really really bad. I would have lost the Buffalo game even if the Hall of Fame Coach who should know the rules, didn't call that double time out and lose the game with seconds left. We both lost on the Miami game - as did the Dolphins themselves - yet again. (Can things possibly get worse for them?) We both lost on the Eagles and Bears.
So, today, at 12:30, when you're all wondering, "Hey, where's Debi?" You can just look for me in the toy aisle at the Wareham Walmart where I will be shelling out money for a pony barn.
Are you smarter than a 5 year old?
As always, Megan and I love to read your comments.