If you think Pablog has not been writing "Soulja Boy" on all his sunglasses, you'd be wrong.
In the Nov. 19 issue of SI, this fair magazine inquired about a less family-friendly side of sports' Soulja Boy outbreak: specifically, whether corporate decision-makers knew the ribald etymology behind "Crank That" and its intertwined dance, the "Superman" (peep the Media Mix segment of that Players section, dear readers). As it happens, the otherwise antiseptic NFL and NBA public relations departments we spoke with had no idea what the term "Superman" actually meant. (And in the blogosphere, as in print, you'll need discover that definition on your own.) NFL spokesman Greg Aiello had never heard of Soulja Boy in the first place.
In the course of reporting, however, SI also got to interview the precocious—and genuinely friendly—Soulja Boy himself. Though his agent ultimately declined requests to provide an official glossary, Pablog did get 15 questions with the 17-year-old, learning a couple things that YOUUUUUU might not know. SI.com may have declared an unofficial, albeit understandable, moratorium on all things Soulja, but here are Pablog's unused notes.
Who Cranks Dat Best? From the Warriors rookies to Wisconsin hoops coach Bo Ryan, pretty much everyone has been caught doing the Superman on YouTube (witness, most recently, Dolphins linebacker Zach Thomas in a room full of children). The best dancer, though? Soulja Boy says it's Devin Hester, who did the dance in the same game that he had a return for a touchdown against the Vikings. The worst? "I haven't really seen a worst," Soulja Boy says. "I've seen a whole team doing it, and there were a couple of dudes not really doing it, so probably them." That would be you, Texas Longhorns. For shame.
Who's Your Favorite Player? It's no contest. "I've always been a Michael Vick fan," Soulja Boy says. Yes, that Michael Vick. The rapper originally hails from Atlanta. "Man…I hate the situation he's in right now. But I used to watch football just to see Michael Vick, for real. I used to play Madden, all the time, and I always played with Michael Vick." Has he tried to contact Vick at all, we wondered, maybe send a letter of encouragement amid rough times? "No…I haven't had time, man. Tour schedule is crazy." (Pablog understands, though among mobile Madden quarterbacks, he has always had a soft spot for Seneca Wallace.)
How About Those South Panola Tigers? Before Soulja Boy, there was simply DeAndre Cortez Way—South Panola High School student and Mississippi resident. South Panola, of course, would be that prep football dynasty, they of the 74-game winning streak (!) and No. 3 ranking in the country, at least by SI's lights. Regrettably, however, Soulja Boy hasn't been back to the 'ssipp (Pablog assumes he can abbreviate like this) since a "Back to School" special he filmed with BET. But he does look quite fondly upon his days as a South Panola Tiger. "My favorite sport is football," he says. "Man, I catch the ball. I'm a wide receiver. My eighth grade, I was No. 80. And then, the year before that, I straight caught an interception. It was all good. I was like, WHOOH."
Professional Aspirations? Presented with the old adage, "Every pro athlete dreams of being a rapper, and every rapper dreams of being a pro athlete," Soulja Boy recoils: "Nah, that's not true!" he says. But what about Shaq, and Allen Iverson, and Ron Artest, and Kobe, all of whom tried their hand at rapping? And Master P (and, more successfully, his son, USC recruit Lil Romeo), who attempted the transition in the other direction? "I've never heard [those athletes' songs], only heard about them. But I'll be the first one to tell you: I su ck at basketball."
Presidential Aspirations? If he could teach anyone in the world how to do the dance, who would it be? "The President. George Bush," Soulja Boy says. What would that conversation be like, we wondered? "It'd be like, 'Um, hey, how you doing Mr. President? Would you like to do the Superman?'" he laughs. "But really, the person who I wanted to do it was 50 Cent, and he did it with me on TV on BET Rap City. That was the only person I wanted."
Do You Also Hate the Patriots? Soulja Boy confesses that he hasn't "really been tuning into football because of my schedule." Nonetheless: "But hey, do ya thing, Patriots! I ain't got nothin' against you." Rest easy, region of New England.
More Soulja Notes...
In a video, Renaldo Balkman (who sort of looks like Aladdin's Jafar, Pablog will always believe) claimed he dressed as Soulja Boy for Halloween. Informed of this, the rapper simply responded: "Uh oh." … Asked if he would remove the "Boy" from his moniker when he got older—a la Bow Wow, née Lil Bow Wow—Soulja Boy predicted, "Once I turn into a man, I'll probably just call myself 'Soulja.' I'll come up with something tight." We all await that metamorphosis … If personal experience is any indication, Soulja Boy is absolutely right: show him one "Crank That" protester, and you'll find someone who has secretly tried the dance, "probably like in they room, with the headphones, looking in the mirror, with the song on." Pablog: guilty.
02:59 PM ET 12.06 |
Start Your Own BlogStart Now