'Ey Capernicus' Blog

Dear Santa,

           Of course we want to go undefeated. That's obvious. The main reason we want this is so that we can wipe it in those sorry 0-16 Dolphin's faces. Also, Bill would love to shout at Don Shula. Also, on the way to going undefeated can you please let it snow during the game against the Dolphins and then can you please let us have the chance to plow a lane to the field goal so that Stephen Gostowski can kick a game winning field goal? Thanks.
           Another thing that would be great would be if you let us resign Randy Moss and Asante Samuel. I know that we already have a great receiving corps, but Randy is really happy and we just want him to enjoy himself. And, well, we're just plain greedy and we want to go undefeated again. As for Asante, our defense is aging, Ellis Hobbs isn't a #1 corner, and God knows that Rodney Harrison can't cover.
           Will you let us have yet another successful draft? I wouldn't mind having Darren McFadden. A couple steals at a bunch of defensive positions would be great too. Especially linebacker. Oh, that reminds me. Can Bruschi, Vrabel, Colvin, Seau, and Thomas suddenly play like they are 10 years younger and can Richard Seymour turn back into his former self?
           And at the Superbowl, will you let us face to Cowboys? We would love to shut down Pretty Boy Romo and Loud Mouth Owens again. It would also be great if their entire defense guarantess a win so that we can score about 300 points and have Randy Moss reach about 400 yards and 7 touchdowns with Tom Brady throwing 950 yards and 12 touchdowns?
          Oh yeah, before the Superbowl, can we face the Indianapolis Colts? And can they have Marvin Harrison back? We want to prove that we can beat, no, obliterate them while they are healthy. We are sick and tired of people saying the Colts could beat us.
           Is it possible for you to make everyone in the entire country forget that we cheated in week 1? Everyone is still talking about it and even though it helps motivate us, it is really ticking the fans off. All these complainers should just be quiet. Face it people! We are better than you!
           Last of all, can Tom Brady please find the fountain of youth and sign a contract with the Patriots until the day he dies? Brady is the main reason for our success and it would be pretty sweet if he lead our team forever. Sure other people would accuse us of cheating, but we are used to that. And sure people may even claim Tom sold his soul to the devil, but since when have our players cared what other people think about them?
           Accept all of these things or we will order you to come to New England and play us with your team of elves so that we can beat you by 50 or more.

                                                                  Bill Belichick

P.S. We are videotaping you at this very moment.


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