Slowly, the NBA begins to intrude on our consciousness in ways that can't make David Stern too happy, but for us in FanNation it sure raises the giggle factor.
We've previously talked about the astonishing brilliance of Stephen Jackson and his pals and their night out in Indy. The latest updates have Our Stevie allegedly not knocked down by the car in that strip club parking lot until after he allegedly fired those five shots in the air like it was New Year's Eve in Baghdad. (We'll use allegedly on all references to Our Stevie's alleged actions since that's how we were taught to do it; whether or not we believe the word is needed, we'll let you decide.)
Next up for Our Stevie may be some jail time in suburban Detroit. Prosecutors there may request jail time for the Indiana Pacers guard if he is found to have violated probation by firing a gun outside an Indianapolis strip club. The words in that sentence fair take your breath away. Let's repeat: Prosecutors may request jail time for the Indiana Pacers guard if he is found to have violated probation by firing a gun outside an Indianapolis strip club. Our Stevie, of course, is on probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor assault and battery charges in September 2005 for his role in a 2004 brawl between Pacers players and fans during a game against the Detroit Pistons.
Following Our Stevie's Indy court hearing on the gun charge, he was led away in handcuffs; a situation that the prosecutor thought was nothing special. Eeesh. Naturally, Pacers Coach Rick Carlisle says he's ready to put Our Stevie back on court for preseason games despite the time he missed by being in court: ``He'll have to catch up, and he will. He's a smart guy. He picks things up very quickly and he's a veteran, so I'm not worried about it.'' (Did he actually call Our Stevie, ‘smart'?)
As you're constructing your basketball Fantasy team in the next few weeks, be sure to save a special spot for Our Stevie.
And then the other day word came out from Germany that Commissioner Stern has issued an edict that long, loud and histrionic complaining by players to game officials will not be allowed for as long as the complaining once had been tolerated. (An aside: pay attention to how often David Stern issues an edict that's sure to be unpopular with the players from some faraway, non-NBA location. That is unless I missed the news of the league's expansion to Düsseldorf.) When someone called the re-thought policy ‘zero-tolerance' an NBA spokesman immediately said: "We never used that word. That's not what it's intended to do." Oh, realllllly? If I can find a Fantasy League that gives high props for technicals, I got Sheed and you can have Kobe and DWade.
Last, we eagerly await the New York coaching debut of Mr. Genius himself, Isiah Thomas. He's in his fourth year as president of the Knicks and is in his first official weeks as coach. All together now Knick fans, there's only one more move for Mr. Genius to make as president of this horrendous team: fire the coach and then resign for allowing such a nincompoop to be selected. The projected starting five is Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis, Jared Jeffries, Eddy Curry and Channing Fry and the only Fantasy you could have about that group is that you have none of them on your team. I will say, however, that Jared, Eddy and Channing does sound like the start of a pretty good boy-band.
So welcome back, NBA. Missed ya.