Seeing as it's been a while since I've done a crazy montage with odd pictures, I thought I'd follow up that smashing success that was the Troy McClure sequel (ahem kinda sorta) with a Pictoral Blog sequel. Now if you have a weak stomach or just don't have an offbeat sense of humor or just have your depends in a wad then move on to someone else's Power Rankings or Pats Pontification. For the rest of you, read on...
Speaking of Legal Weasel Disclaimers, I should warn you that this blog has been inspired by the intellect that prevades the comments and throwdowns of FanNation. As such, here's your warning:
Let me tell you. I played soccer for 10 years and it's no sissy sport. I mean look at these 2 hardcases. Tell them they're a sissy to their faces. I dare ya.
Like I said, there are some tough guys in soccer. But I guess a pair of them forgot to protect their "pair" with a supporter. Okay these guys are just plain soft.
Seriously though, if you need to protect that pretty face and hair, what are you doing playing the game. Just say ‘cheese' and take one for the team. Did I mention soccer is a tough sport?
Did I mention that Soccer isn't a sissy sport? Generally it's for tough guys who only wear pads on their shins. But it looks like these guys wear pads of a different type. Which one has the new Coach bag? I guess these guys wanted to be on the BBC show "Footballer's Wives". Talk about your 'Punching Judys'!
Now on to the great sport of Basketball. I've heard of a technical foul before, but this is just *plain* foul. Hey buddy, does it taste like chicken?
Speaking of fouls,is this offensive charging or are these guys having a ‘moment'? Dude. That's *not* what coach mean when he said keep your eye on the ball.
The WNBA is having a European developmental league. I think these fine ladies didn't make the cut. But then you never know. They could probably beat out some guys on the Knicks (that one's for you EJ)
Speaking of the Knicks, why wasn't this fine young lady pictured below given an internship at MSG? It's obvious she has mad skills and is also prepared with kneepads...
Now I've just gotten into MMA. I tried out Greco-Roman wrestling. I don't know where the Roman part came in as you never see the guys eat pasta or wear a toga. The athletes below demonstrate the "Greco" part though. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
This is the kind of MMA fight I like. Forget about that "Greek Wrestling" nonsense. That's just a pair of guys groping on the floor. Give me a good headkick anyday! (And by give me I mean let me watch someone else on the business end of a kick. Not me!)
Speaking of duking it out, look who's thrown his hat into the octagon, it's....ELMO! Tickle me Elmo my eye! Looks more like "Deck Me Elmo" in my humble opinion. I can just hear that falsetto voice now, "That punch tickled a little...try kicking Elmo in the gut."
Now Elmo is a great contestant for MMA. But this dude just never made it for obvious reasons. I mean if you're going to split your drawers, I can't think of a single guy who's going to feel comfortable if they get taken down by this bozo.
Now you know that baseball players are always the most athletic, not to mention talented. I think the guy in the background didn't know he was catching 3 balls.
As for these two, it might be better for both of them to take the gloves off first and then time the high five better. But as John Madden once said, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."
Now for those of you who missed the main attraction of the historic Mitchell Report, let's just nutshell it for you:
There's no way this guy was using ‘roids, right? I mean look at that adorable face! ‘Roid Rage? What's it to ya punk?!?!?!?!? Forget we asked.
Now this fine upstanding young lady was a ball girl at Shea Stadium, and also a special helper for the trainer. While Mitchell did ‘investigate' her involvement in the clubhouse, he left her off the report because of her cooperation.
You just have to love it when a fan is able to express himself without the usual, "Hey ref, seen an ophthalmologist lately?" This is so much better because he doesn't even know!
Speaking of total idiots, I won't say this was Eli after Sunday's game, because they way he played it was more likely an hour before he played!!! Nice look. Way to compete with Romo for best looking date.
Remember all those times that the refs wouldn't call a "roughing the kicker" play? Well here's how Stanford gets revenge. Ouch! Talk about hang time!
Here on the left was one of the oldest and fastest prospects of the 2007 draft. Unfortunately, most scouts and coaches red flagged him for medical issues and a low Wonderlic score. "Wonderlic? That's what my first wife always wanted me to do. That's just plain objectionable whipper snapper!"
It's been brought to my attention that there is going to be a new football league called the WNFL. They plan to draw in a huge fan base by making all players compete in their underwear. I hear the grand kickoff will be in Foxboro.
Now I know there's a lot of hubbub about the whole BCS debacle. But let me throw out my predictions as to who's going to come away with that crystal trophy and the national title. I'm just glad it's football and not a spelling bee! Whew.
So now's the time to tell me what parts you liked and what you didn't like on my blog. I asked an average FanNation user, but all I got in response was...
I checked with the Angel's Rally Monkey, but he's kind of prejudiced against Polar Bears. Something about trauma in the San Diego Zoo. Talk about your Dr. Phil episodes!
So I decided to hold a focus group of a couple of gamers who took a few minutes out from their Xbox 360, and this is what they told me: