FanNation - The Republic of Sport

After spending 5 hours trying to pin my dad last night in the feats of strength, I am now quite exhausted from Festivus. Now I'll prepare for Christmas. It will be a bittersweet Christmas for the Clause family, though, due to the sad passing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer from his massive tumor that gave him his trademark red nose. But Santa is the Brett Favre of the mystical holiday mascots, and will play this Christmas with a black band around the sleeves. Oh well, here are my thoughts on yesterdays football action.

-Congratulations to Derek Anderson for playing half of the Bengals game with his head up his ****. Seriously, 4 INTs? 2 on consecutive passes? Come on! And then half the game, he played great and led the Browns down the field. About every other throw, the ball would just sail over the head of Braylon Edwards, who by the way was the only reciever he threw to the entire game. What happened to him?

-Can't wait! This week, the Patriots go for the perfect season against the mighty Giants. Can't wait to watch! Oh wait, the games on the F$@%in NFL NETWORK! I WON'T GET TO WATCH IT! THE BIGGEST REGULAR SEASON GAME IN YEARS, AND HALF THE COUNTRY WILL FOLLOW ON ESPNEWS'S BOTTOM LINE! Congrats, NFL, you have just ripped off your fans.

-I like the Browns/Titans playoff tiebreaker scenario. If both teams win this week, the teams are tied at 10-6 and the Titans get in. If both teams lose, both finish 9-7 and the Browns make the playoffs? What? How does this happen? This leads to the Browns playing a completely meaningless games in week 17 in the middle of a playoff race. Wow.

-Congrats to Warren Sapp for getting thrown out of the Raiders-Jags game for commiting 3 consectutive unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. I've never seen that happen. Its quite and accomplishment.

-When will we see the Jets godawful blue and gold monstosities again? I miss the leagues least sense making unis.

-For the first time yesterday, I got to here the wondrous announcing of Dan Dierdorf. (Yes, wondrous is a word he used.) I have now discovered the Tim McCarver of the NFL. He just on and on and on and on and on about the stupidest things. My favorite comment was, "If the Bengals kick the field goal, the Browns will be down 8 points, which means to tie, they will need a touchdown and a sucessful 2 point conversion." Really? That equals 8 points? I could have never figured out by myself. It was torture.

So long for this week! R.I.P. Rudolph! If Santa dies from going down the chimney into a roaring fire in your house, don't call the police, just hide the body. No one needs a homicide on their hands this holiday season.