Looking Back at Childhood- The Over Involved Dad Diaries
The topic of pushing kids too hard came up in a couple of blogs I read and I wanted to put my spin on it from the athlete's point of view (POV) that HAD the very involved father. Of the other 2 blogs I read one was from an athlete's POV (but he was a teammate with the guy who had the "over involved" father) and the other one was written from a father's POV. I 100% believe there are 3 types of sports dads- the casual observer and supporter (majority of dads- they aren't going to be discussed), the involved maniac, and the involved disciplinarian/motivator. I think the issue gets muddied by not having 3 classifications- it's not just casual and maniacal dads. To me maniacs are the guys who verbally and physically abuse their kids all in the name of sports and do the 3rd thing I'll speak of later in the blog. My dad was the 3rd type, an involved disciplinarian/motivator. I will describe both in further detail throughout the blog. Here is background on me to better illustrate my point of view:
I was a 3 sport star athlete in high school at a very large school. 1st Team All state in all 3 sports for two years in a row. I was recruited in all 3 sports to go to D1 schools (I was a 4 star recruit in 2 sports, and a 5 star in the other). I got a free education from the finest educational institution in America because I was pushed so hard to succeed. If I had not gotten the free ride I probably would not have been able to attend college (at least the one I wanted) because of the cost and my family's inability to help cover any of the costs. That motivated the HELL out of me. I HAD to go to college and it HAD to be to the one I wanted. NEVER once did my father ever mention that, though- I knew it was a fact of life.
Was it easy for me to tell my friends every night that I couldn't hang out because I had practice, then weight training, then (if it was wrestling season) another running session (to make weight)? NO!!! Was it easy for me to go and work out during the summer for 4 hours a day every day between conditioning and weights, while my friends hung out by the pool and did other stuff? NO!!! Was it easy to not see friends for 2 weeks at a time during the summer while I attended a lacrosse camp, or two more weeks for football camp, or 2 more weeks for wrestling camp? NO!! Did going to AAU wrestling tourneys every other weekend during the summer suck? YES!! BUT my father never forced any of this on me- I decided that is what I wanted to do and he helped to keep me motivated. Did my Dad "kind of" make me do some of this extra offseason stuff? Yes he did- but only because his rule was that I don't do anything halfass, it's either all or nothing. I could have quit at anytime and quite simply, when I didn't want to go to a tourney or something- I was presented with a fair choice. He would politely remind me that i could either go and be the best I can, or if I wanted to devote my time to other pursuits I might want to quit the sport all together. All my father did was remind me of my commitment.
BUT, just like my Dad always told me- "Nothing that is truly worth having will EVER be easy. IF it comes too easy, it probably isn't worth what you thought it was". I'm sure he wasn't the inventor of the phrase, but to this day it remains my personal "mission statement".
My father never, EVER spoke of me ever making money from sports- that's far fetched, only the truly short sighted person plans to ever make money playing sports. Only a small handful of people ever get to do it for a living- even the most talented. Sports to me was always an means to an end- 100% thru and thru. My end was a great education, and sports was the means. I get questioned all the time why I chose the scholarship I did (lacrosse) . Why did you pass up playing D1 Football? You had the size, speed, and ability to definitely start (I was given a guaranteed starting position by 8 D1 schools) and perhaps one day play in the NFL. I did it for 3 reasons:
Faces at the U.S. Open
