mmmm, steak... that's what bevo I was.

The longhorns are losing to KSU HAHAHAHAHAHA. I knew they were gonna suck this year

A Oklahoma graduate took his son to OU to see if he would be accepted. They measured his IQ, and it was too high (180). They told the father, "We only accept students with a maximum of 100 IQ. Luckily we have invented a machine that lowers IQ". The father said, "Let's get him qualified". The OU scientists hooked the son up to the machine and slowly his IQ lowered. 170....160....150 when the machine went wild. Before anyone thought to pull the plug, his IQ was at -210, and he went into a coma.
Several weeks later in the hospital, the son started to show signs of stirring. The media gathered around his bed to see what the stupidest person in history had to say. The son woke up, and the first words out of his mouth were "Hook 'em Horns".

Tyrell Gatewood and Ben Wells are the fifth and sixth Texas players to have brushes with the law in the past four months. The others:

June 1: DE Henry Melton is charged with driving while intoxicated.

June 9: S Robert Joseph is charged with two misdemeanor counts of burglary of a vehicle.

July 28: Joseph is charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon in connection with a break-in on July 27.

July 28: LB Sergio Kindle of Woodrow Wilson is charged with driving while intoxicated.

Aug. 2: DT Andre Jones is charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon in the same July 27 incident in which Joseph was charged.

Two sooners and a Ut fan are walking to the cotton bowl together for the game.
As they round a corner there in front of them is an unconcious woman laying naked and face up on the sidewalk.
While a 4th fair patron runs to summon the police, the 3 game-goers decide that the noble thing to do is to protect this womans modesty.
So they take their ball caps off and cover her privates with them.
After the police arrive they determine she is dead and they begin to write their reports.

One young officer was assigned the task of describing the victims body. He lifts the "Sooners" cap off of her left breast stares for a brief moment and then sets it gently back in place and begins to write in his notepad.

Next he lifts the "OU" cap off of the womans right breast, studies it for a brief moment and then sets it too back gently and again writes in his notepad.

Finally he lifts the "HORNS" ballcap off of her pubic region. He studies it for a few moments and then sets the cap down and begins to scratch his head. He thinks for a few moments and then lifts the hat again. Again he puts it back down and scratches his head.

As he begins to lift the cap for the 3rd time, the Ut fan has had enough.

"Hey there, young fella" he yells "what are you some sorta perv?? Or have you just never seen one of them before??"

"No Sir" the young officer replies. "Usually the only thing we ever find under a HORNS cap is an aASSHOLEe."

A UT Vol, a t-sip and an Aggie walk into the bar at the same time and decide to have a drinking contest.

The UT Vol orders a fifth of Jack Daniels, pours a pint glass, drains it, tosses the fifth bottle into the air, pulls his revolver out and shoots the fifth, shattering glass everywhere. Then he says "We've got lots of whiskey in Tennesseee."

The t-sip orders a bottle of fruity blush wine, drains a pint glass, throws the bottle into the air, pulls his revolver, shoots the bottle and says "we've got a lot of wine in Austin.

The Aggie looks at both of the other two, orders a bottle of Cuervo, drains a pint glass, pulls his revolver, shoots the t-sip and says "We've got a lot of these QUEERS in Texas."

A University of Texas graduate and an Aggie are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The Aggie bets the University of Texas graduate $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet," the teasip replied. A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The Aggie, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the University of Texas graduate and tells him that he does not need to pay the $50. "No, a bet's a bet," the teasip replies, "I owe you $50 dollars." The Aggie, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out." "That's okay," the University of Texas graduate replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."