Das Slaughtered Lamb
David: A severed wolf's head on a pike as their symbol.
Jack: David, before we go in there I want you to know that - no matter what happens to us - it's your fault.
David: I assume full responsibility.
David: Shall we?
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Today in Sports History
1839 - Abner Doubleday created the game of baseball, according to the legend. However, evidence has surfaced that indicates that the game of baseball was played before 1800.
1939 - The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum was dedicated in Cooperstown, New York.
1948 - Ben Hogan won his first U.S. Open golf classic.
1967 - The Senators beat Chicago, 6-5, in 22 innings. The game lasted six hours, 38 minutes and ended at 2:43 a.m. and caused the league to adopt a curfew stating that no inning may start after 1:00 a.m.
The Onion's new scripted half-hour comedy series, Onion News Empire, premieres today on Amazon Instant Video!
Starring Jeffrey Tambor, Chris Masterson, William Sadler, Cheyenne Jackson, and more, Onion News Empire will teach audiences the most important rule of journalism: News doesn't just happen; it's created, paid for by gigantic corporations, and spoon-fed straight into our moist, half-agape mouths. There's no gimmick too pandering and no fear-mongering too monger-y for The Onion's news team.
Intrigue. Passion. Thrills. A breakdancing…