NFL  > General NFL  > You're A Real Football Fan If............
October 19, 2010, 06:35 PM
You said your wedding vows while watching a football game out of the corner of your eye.
You asked your wife to have a Caesarian Section, because the baby was due on Super Bowl Sunday.
In preparation for a romantic evening with your wife, you put on a football helmet.
In preparation for a romantic evening, you ask your wife to wear a cheerleader outfit.
You've ever worn face paint to Sunday church.
You keep a football playbook in the bathroom.
Your season tickets cost more than your house.
You have a tattoo of your team logo.
You dream of having sex at half-time... in the stadium.
You have had sex at half-time... in the stadium.
Your children are named Ditka, Heisman and O.J. (Or whoever your players are)
Your wedding colors were the same as your team colors.
You're definition of "getting lucky" is a seat on the fifty-yard line.
Your prenuptial agreement mentions season tickets.
You named your dog Touchdown.
You've worn the same shirt on Sundays for the past 10 years.

AND, the ultimate football fan..........

I went to the Super Bowl, and when I arrived, I realized that my seat is in the last row. After the game started, I noticed an empty seat right on the fifty-yard line. I made my way to the empty seat and said to the man sitting next to it, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man replied, "No, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she died. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967."

"Well, that's terribly sad. But couldn't you find anyone else to take the seat? A close relative or friend?"

'No," the man replied. "They're all at the funeral."
October 19, 2010  06:43 PM ET
QUOTE:

Nice!!!

October 19, 2010  06:43 PM ET

Awesome post Bull..

These were mine...


Your wedding colors were the same as your team colors.
"All I wanted was Giant Blue, the wife could have whatever else she wanted, Garter was "Ny Giants" also

In preparation for a romantic evening, you ask your wife to wear a cheerleader outfit.
Who doesn't do this one...lol

October 19, 2010  06:51 PM ET

You dream of having sex at half-time... in the stadium. You have had sex at half-time... in the stadium.

Not enough time...LOL... Maybe during the Superbowl Halftime !!!

October 19, 2010  06:52 PM ET

I thought it was time for a bit of humor for a change, since most of us are suffering through a season unexpected, ya know.....like a 1-4 record..........lol

October 19, 2010  06:57 PM ET
QUOTE:

Nice!!!

Six pack abs!

October 19, 2010  07:02 PM ET
QUOTE:

How about at the two minute warning?

That would be the ultimate "quickie" there......lol

October 19, 2010  07:03 PM ET
QUOTE:

bull,....yu can only go UP from here-on-in !.......[I HOPE] !

We won't go 0-16 for sure, anyway........lol

October 19, 2010  10:06 PM ET

Bull_Shirt:

Sir, I stand and applaud you for this most excellent post!!!!!!

Comment #18 has been removed
October 20, 2010  05:42 AM ET
QUOTE(#15):

Bull_Shirt:Sir, I stand and applaud you for this most excellent post!!!!!!

Thanks, Ironman........nothing wrong with a bit of humor to calm the savage beast in all of us when it comes to our fave team. Hopefully, we all can talk football without animosity towards another fan's team. I'm not saying there's any thing wrong with a bit of competition and/or some friendly trash talking, but it should be kept in perspective.
The Cowboys are 1-4 right now. And a lot of other teams that should be doing well, are not, while other cellar dwellers are doing better than forecast. In my opinion, humor can be a cure all, so to speak. If we let it.

October 20, 2010  05:44 AM ET
QUOTE:

I'm confused. Are you saying this is a bad idea? I just didn't want to miss the birth of JackHamStraw.

*Laffin*..Not at all Jack...........Jack Ham Straw.....good one!

October 21, 2010  05:18 AM ET
QUOTE:

And the horse he rode in on.

And the mangy dog that followed him.........lol

October 21, 2010  10:05 AM ET

That's just poor planning if your baby is due on Super Sunday.

October 21, 2010  08:27 PM ET

You're a real football fan when your girlfriend or wife asks for a quickie and you jump up and run to the kitchen for a snack and a beer for the both of you.

October 21, 2010  09:07 PM ET
QUOTE:

I'll bet that impresses the wife or girlfriend.

It's why I never claim to be a real fan but rather choose to be simply a fan.

October 23, 2010  03:04 PM ET

Is it true fanhood if you chew up your zantac 150 with a beer?

October 23, 2010  03:26 PM ET

hmmmm .... I'm guilty of the very first one on the list.
Maybe that's why I've been single for the past 20 years ...... NAH!!
It's because - I LIKE IT !!!!

October 24, 2010  11:13 AM ET

My brother-in-law is the ultimate Steeler fan. His wife went into labor during the first quarter of a Steelers game, His daughter was born in the car on the way to the hospital AFTER THE GAME WAS OVER!!!

October 24, 2010  06:51 PM ET
QUOTE:

I hope this is only a joke.

Not a joke!! True story. We all met up at the hospital later and heard all about it. She was actually in labor for 3 three hours prior to the game but thought she could hold out until after the game.

 
October 24, 2010  09:56 PM ET

awesome

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