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Not a commissioner was stirring - not with all that money in hand.

Bowl pairings were arranged with the utmost of care,
In the hopes that piles of money soon would be there.

School presidents were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dollar signs danced in their heads.

ESPN in their suits, CBS with their limos,
Had just settled down with a whole bunch of bimbos.

When there in the polls, there arose such a clatter,
A non-AQ in the top 3? What the HELL was the matter!

Who let this happen, how could this be?
There's a 'nobody' sitting at three.

Away to the rule book they flew like a flash,
Tore open the section that dealt with this mash.

And there it was in fine little text,
What on earth was to happen next.

A top twelve non-AQ ... guaranteed a berth,
So much for all of the holiday mirth.

And a 'nobody' in the top 5. It just wasn't right,
Not on this most holy of nights.

Lucky for that missed FG a few weeks before,
Otherwise there would certainly have been 1 more.

Well at least they were number three - not one or two,
If that were the case, chaos would ensue.

Thank goodness for the ruling of 1 man's eligibility,
Otherwise we'd be facing unimaginibility.

Now Patterson! Now Whittingham! On Petersen and the rest!
To hell with system, give it your best.

Never give up. Continue to fight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!