Cycling  > General Cycling  > Lance Armstrong: "I Never Failed One Of Those ****, Easy-To-Fool Doping Tests"
September 21, 2011, 05:59 PM
AUSTIN, TX???Embattled seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong held a press conference this morning to sternly reiterate that during his career he passed every easy-to-mask, ineffective doping test he was ever given. ???Let me be entirely clear about this: I, like the hundreds of obviously juiced cyclists who also passed them, never failed one of those **** tests that you can basically learn how to beat by reading Internet message boards,??? Armstrong said. ???I repeat: Those tests???which were easily defeated by such simple means as, say, injecting a chemical masking agent, re-transfusing blood, or creating a urine sample out of toilet water and a drop of yellow food coloring???always said I was clean. And anyone who says otherwise is a slanderer.??? Armstrong concluded the press conference by challenging his accusers, saying he would retake any of his previously defeated doping tests ???anytime, anywhere.???

(Courtesy of the Onion Sports Network)
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February 5, 2013  03:01 PM ET

Well, we all know how this turned out!

 
February 5, 2013  03:01 PM ET

Lance = dirtest athelete EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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