NFL  > General NFL  > How about a joke ... ?
October 15, 2011, 07:12 PM
Why shouldn't you give Devin Hester a gift?




He'll just return it!



Give me your football jokes, I gotta hear 'em!
October 15, 2011  07:17 PM ET

that's easy...2 words...Rex Ryan!

October 15, 2011  07:29 PM ET
QUOTE(#1):

that's easy...2 words...Rex Ryan!

Funny! I was waiting for someone to say, "Tony Romo" or "Eli Manning".
Didn't expect Rex Ryan though! Two AFC championship games in his last two years is quite the joke.

October 15, 2011  10:53 PM ET
QUOTE(#2):

Funny! I was waiting for someone to say, "Tony Romo" or "Eli Manning". Didn't expect Rex Ryan though! Two AFC championship games in his last two years is quite the joke.

It's just the weekend............the Romo and Eli jokes will come.

October 16, 2011  09:06 AM ET
QUOTE(#2):

Funny! I was waiting for someone to say, "Tony Romo" or "Eli Manning". Didn't expect Rex Ryan though! Two AFC championship games in his last two years is quite the joke.

The fact that he is 2-3 (lucky it's not 1-4 thanks to Romo and I'll get to that joke in a sec), and in third place talking about winning the superbowl is a JOKE! He should be more worried about making the playoffs. As for part II (Romo), a pathetic statistic was discussed in the local paper about him. He has started 69 games and has turned the ball over in 50! Just goes to show you that you can put up all the pretty numbers you want but turn the ball over at that rate and your success will be no better than a clipboard holder.

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October 16, 2011  09:34 AM ET

Q: How do you kill a NY Giants fan when he's been drinking?
A: Slam the toilet seat on his head.

October 16, 2011  09:37 AM ET

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "I'm a bit worried - can you get pregnant from an.al intercourse?"
"Of course," replies the doctor, "Where do you think... (Insert name of team of your choice here) ....fans come from?""

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October 16, 2011  09:56 AM ET
QUOTE(#14):

nice bag bull! you get that from the EZ line of bags? lol

No. I googled them...........lol......then, re did the quotation marks so they wouldn't turn into ? marks when I copied and pasted them.

October 16, 2011  09:59 AM ET

We all should wear bags. If the Cowboys win today, mine's coming off...........until the next stupid loss anyway.

I take great comfort in knowing the Cowboys aren't the only contenders having a problem year.....the Colts, Steelers, Falcons, etc..............makes it more easier to digest somehow.

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October 16, 2011  11:36 AM ET
QUOTE(#20):

I am ok with the colts losing all the time....I have resigned myself to losing this year....no worries!

I believe that like I believe the sky is purple with yellow polka dots

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October 16, 2011  12:35 PM ET

George Phillips, an elderly man, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"

George said, "Okay"

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

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