Gray_andy
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  • 01:49 PM ET  05.14

 

Commencement season is upon us and as usual, there are some high profile speakers (George W. Bush at Furman University, Al Gore at Carnegie Mellon), some low profile speakers (Allan Houston at Dowling College, Bill Nye at Harvey Mudd College) and some choices that just leave us scratching our heads (Bianca Jagger at Simmons College).

The best commencement speaker we ever heard was Tom Brokaw addressing the graduates of the University of Pennsylvania earlier this decade. However, if we could pick anyone in the world to give a speech it would be the following:

5. Sam Cassell -- It would just be funny to hear him talk for 30 minutes straight. Just ask Kevin Garnett. 

4. Tila Tequila -- We'd love to see what the parents think about the host of a bisexual dating game being the     keynote speaker.

3. Larry Bird -- He might not say much, but his message will be blunt and wise.

2. Jose Canseco -- Who knows which professors have been using performance-enhancing drugs at our school?

1. Larry David -- In all seriousness, we can't think of anyone who'd make a more entertaining speech than LD. Bonus points if Susie Essman introduces him.

Those are our five choices. Who is your dream graduation speaker?
 
May 20, 2012  06:19 PM ET

Detroit Lions rule and this "story" sucks. That's all I got.

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