The NFL Game Rankings are back for Season Two. Each Thursday, we'll rank the games from least to most watchable. The following Tuesday, we'll re-rank the games based on what actually went down. At season's end, we'll tally up the pre- and post-game rankings from throughout the year to determine the league's most and least watchable squads -- and the 30 teams in between. All times Eastern.
ONLY IF YOUR OTHER OPTION IS YARDWORK
16. Oakland at Kansas City, 1:00 p.m., CBS
Forget the women and children. Hide yourself.
15. N.Y. Giants at St. Louis, 1:00 p.m., FOX
A dominating defense coming off a Super Bowl win against an offense that managed 166 total yards last week. Hard to believe Fox is sending their top team, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, to this one.
14. San Francisco at Seattle, 4:05 p.m., FOX
Mike Holmgren vs. Mike Nolan and Mike Martz. What, ESPN's Mike, Mike and Mike weren't available? They seem to excel at snoozers.
IT AIN'T GONNA BE EPIC, BUT HEY, IT'S FOOTBALL
13. Green Bay at Detroit, 1:00 p.m., FOX
Pipe down, Packers fans. This has nothing to do with your team and everything to do with the cats across the line of scrimmage.
12. Tennessee at Cincinnati, 1:00 p.m., CBS
Now, if CBS wised up and had a picture-in-picture sideline cam fixed on Vince Young, then this game would shoot up the list. As it stands, though, it's worth a commercial-break flip to see Titans rookie Chris Johnson in action.
11. Miami at Arizona, 4:15 p.m., CBS
One individual matchup to watch: Dolphins TE Anthony Fasano vs. Cardinals LB Karlos Dansby. Fasano had a breakout game last week and the Cards, especially the physical Dansby, will be focusing on stopping him.
10. Baltimore at Houston, 4:15 p.m., CBS
Thoughts and prayers go out to all those in Hurricane Ike's path.
9. New Orleans at Washington, 1:00 p.m., FOX
We'll be tuning in to see if fantasy football season murderer Reggie Bush (not that we're bitter) has indeed turned the corner. Redskins fans will be watching to make sure Jim Zorn isn't killing their season.
8. Atlanta at Tampa Bay, 4:05 p.m., FOX
If this game happened last week, it would have been a Yardwork no-brainer. But watching that young, exciting Falcons offense take on the veteran Bucs 'D makes for some compelling television.
7. Buffalo at Jacksonville, 1:00 p.m., CBS
The Jags will be playing with a slight sense of urgency because they don't want to start 0-2, which is a distinct possiblity if the Bills look as good as they did against the Seahawks in Week 1.
6. San Diego at Denver, 4:15 p.m., CBS
Peter King picked the Broncos, which goes to show you how much the gap has closed on these two AFC West rivals. Superglue potential here, but it gets edged out in a crowded week.
5. Indianapolis at Minnesota, 1:00 p.m., CBS
Loser goes from legitimate Super Bowl contender with a promising outlook to 0-2 in a span of seven days. Jared Allen chasing down Peyton Manning. Adrian Peterson against a freshly embarrassed thus highly motivated Colts defensive front. Lots to love here.
SUPERGLUE YOURSELF TO THE COUCH
4. Pittsburgh at Cleveland, 8:15 p.m., NBC
Bitter rivals + Steelers' nine-game series winning streak + Dawg Pound + prime-time kickoff = NBC's new formula for must-see TV.
3. Chicago at Carolina, 1:00 p.m., FOX
It's like the polar opposite of the Vikings-Colts game. The winner of this game goes from having tons of question marks heading into the season to having a 2-0 record and becoming the chic NFC Super Bowl pick in a span of seven days.
2. New England at N.Y. Jets, 4:15 p.m., CBS
You've read enough about this matchup already that it just might be easier to list the reasons not to watch this game. If you think of any, let us know.
1. Philadelphia at Dallas, 8:30 p.m. (Monday), ESPN
The two teams with maybe the most impressive performances in Week 1 meet in Week 2. Throw in the fact they are division rivals and can't stand each other and it becomes a super matchup. Then add in T.O.'s recent comments about McNabb and you have your No. 1 can't-miss game of the week.