Whenever people from other parts of the country try to claim their favorite school has an atmosphere comparable to ones in the SEC, I'm tempted to pat them on the head, smile and explain the difference between people who merely enjoy football and people who swear a blood oath to their teams. This distinction is even greater when it comes to fandom in the state of Alabama, where, were it legal, people might toss their children into pits, Sparta-style, if the little tykes didn't utter "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle" as their first words.
Now, instead of a lengthy explanation, I can just show them this Motion to Continue from attorney Jon B. Terry filed Tuesday in the Circuit Court of Jefferson County in Alabama.
According to the motion, the case was "set for trial several months ago before several monumental events occurred that were beyond the anticipation of the attorneys and clients." What monumental events, you ask? Just check out section two:
"Since the setting of this case, one of the two great college football teams in this State has reached levels on a national scale that have not been enjoyed by any team in this state in 17 years next preceding the date hereof."
That's right. Because most of the attorneys representing the defendants in Mark Traywick v. Energen Corporation have tickets to the game, they want the trial postponed until March. And they're only filing the motion because attorneys for the plaintiff wouldn't play nice. Why not? Because they're Auburn fans.
In defense of the plaintiff's attorneys, Auburn did go undefeated in 2004, so the "17 years" line isn't entirely accurate, but we're nitpicking here. After all, these fine barristers are merely trying to wrangle a fair trial for their clients. "It is also understood that many of the witness (sic) involved are trying to acquire tickets to the game and/or scheduled to be in Pasadena on Jan. 7," Terry writes, "and certainly any juror selected to participate will likely be preoccupied and not be able to devote their full attention to the case before them."
And if Terry's first eight arguments weren't successful, he saved his ace in the hole for his ninth and final plea:
"9. ROLL TIDE!! (although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated."
(H/T: Friends of the Program)
Update: According to The Birmingham News, the judge (an Auburn grad) has granted the request.