Giants receiver Plaxico Burress returned from a two-week suspension on Monday that included him sitting out the team’s 44-6 win over Seattle with nary an apology. Burress says the “family emergency” he had to deal with was taking his son to school. The closest he came by admitting any culpability for skipping a day of work without informing the team of his whereabouts was: “Maybe I could have put a call in.”
Frankly, that’s not going to cut it. We like Plax, though, so we’re going to help him out. Here are some excuses that he could have used, just in case this happens again:
10. The dog ate my cellphone
9. Son needed protection from bully Scut Farkas
8. No sense playing since Seahawks defense provided zero challenge
7. Can’t face a world in which Misty May-Treanor isn’t on network TV
6. Drank expired milk -- from China
5. Just trying to keep up with other knucklehead WRs
4. Tried calling information for team’s number but didn’t realize “Giants” was spelled with soft “G”
3. It’s not like I ever practiced last year either, and how’d that turn out?
2. Had scheduled a therapeutic massage for my ego
1. We’re talking ‘bout practice?
Marisa Miller
Ana Beatriz Barros
Mavs Dancers
College Football, Top 25 Review
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21) To depressed to practice because of the Mets collapse.
BoFett
Total Comments (4198)
10. The dog ate my cellphone
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I had to write a note to my daughter's teacher the other day. While we were working on her reading assignment, I didn't notice that her brother had grabbed her homework page off the table and started chewing on it.
So my note to her teacher said, "Harmony's little brother ate her homework."
DJ C - Pete 3:16
Total Comments (10995)
35) Busy bidding on a urinal from Yankee stadium on e-bay.
BoFett
Total Comments (4198)
I sure hope little bro's name is Peace.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (3940)
Was driving his Shea Stadium seats back from Queens.
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5741)
6. Drank expired milk -- from China
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Come on - plastic lasts forever.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (3940)
Son needed protection from bully Scut Farkas
The 10 Spot
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His eyes were yellow, so help me God, they were yellow!
Finsterbaby
Total Comments (8703)
13) Programmed team's number into cell phone using a New York area code.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (3940)
14) His son's school is in like South Carolina, like such as . . .
Tom, ALRanger
Richardson , TX
Total Comments (1953)
This one won't work. The $869 price includes shipping.
Tim in NY
The 'Burbs, NY
Total Comments (2233)
Grover Dill! Scut Farkus' little toadie. Mean! Rotten! His lips curled over his green teeth.
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5741)
In what room are you installing your set?
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5741)
17. Couldn't find a working/non-disgusting pay phone in New York.
Mr Adams
Total Comments (3057)
11. Was busy trying to find someone who could translate "17" into broken Spanish.
Tim in NY
The 'Burbs, NY
Total Comments (2233)
Huh, I barely remember that. It seems like ages ago.
The 10 Spot
Total Comments (6275)
20). I am a worthless, lazy, selfish, vain, conceited, egocentric, ... what, the truth doesn't work any more?
Rickapolis-Bard of…
Annapolis , MD
Total Comments (5317)
I'm doing a new theme room, that I'm calling the "Frivolous Purchases During an Economic Crisis That will Lead to my Financial Ruin" room.
Tim in NY
The 'Burbs, NY
Total Comments (2233)
Nice one.
The 10 Spot
Total Comments (6275)
25) He was busy completing his entry questionaire for the next America's Got Talent. Plax was entering the "How to do nothing and still get paid" category.
FGB
Neyland Stadium, TN
Total Comments (6670)
Alas, I can't handle the truth.
Martel - Moopsbane
Total Comments (3940)
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