While the economy seems to be crumbling before our very eyes, baseball is capping a successful season with its playoffs and the NFL and college football are zipping along as popular as ever. Indeed, there is much that the world of finance could learn from sports.
Here are some of the steps that we would recommend our financial barons borrow from sports to turn things around. It also might be time to beg and steal, if necessary.
10. Move market into sparkling new digs right across Wall Street
9. Rename bailout the much catchier “Siete Cien Billón”
8. Replace the FDIC with A-Rod (caveat: guarantee’s worthless in October)
7. Enforce 16-year-old age limit for investment bankers
6. Hank Paulson out, Joe Torre in
5. Try to bottle T.O.’s overweening self-confidence
4. Let CC Sabathia pitch in every fourth day until he keels over
3. Stop panicking! It’s not like we’re talking about the Auburn offense here
2. Let Rickapolis make stock picks
1. Don’t worry, those very same Congressmen who held the Roger Clemens hearings are getting to the bottom of this crisis as we speak