The NFL season kicks off tonight when the defending Super Bowl champion Giants host the Redskins. Sunday will then bring a full slate of games.
Optimism always runs high, of course, before the bullets start flying for real. History shows us, however, that only a handful of teams will end up being true contenders.
Here are some signs that your NFL team might be in for a struggle:
10. Your top-secret playbook was last seen with Tatum Bell
9. Your star RB is playing against himself in fantasy
8. The closest your QB comes to a gun is Googling pics of Sarah Palin
7. The Patriots don't even bother secretly taping your signals
6. The players learned teamwork from Joe Lieberman
5. Your DBs think ‘Cover 2' is a betting term
4. Your players' relentless film study only shows them tendencies of Jenna Jameson
3. Your head coach learned his X's and O's from Barzhac
2. Your team makes the Bengals look like Saints
1. You're counting on the least-known Manning brother, Shecky

Genevieve Morton
Nina Agdal


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