When the 10 Spot is stumped for material, it's wise to return to basics. Like making cheap cracks about Barry Bonds.
The Big-Headed One's lawyers asked a federal judge Monday to toss out most of the government's perjury case against him. Barry's lawyers haven't stopped there, however.
We've learned that they're testing the following catch phrases with focus groups. Which do you think they should choose?
10. If the hat doesn't fit, you must acquit
9. If the questions lacked sense, that makes our defense
8. If it's not in the pee, you must set him free
7. If his undercarriage hasn't shrunk, you must toss out this junk
6. If you didn't see him take the juice, you've gotta cut him loose
5. If Greg Anderson stays mum, you can't convict this bum
4. If we get one Giants fan on the jury, he'll be acquitted in a hurry
3. If telling lies is a crime, why isn't Congress doing time?
2. If you've got no bloody gauze, admit it's a losing cause
1. If you couldn't nail O.J., might as well give up today