Just imagine how late these would be if you were in Beijing:
• Jamaica's Usain Bolt added another gold medal and world record in Wednesday's 200 meters to go along with the same two-fer in the 100. Indeed, the Jamaicans have absolutely dominated the sprints this Olympics. American track hasn't seen a hit this big since Bob Marley's prime.
• Bolt ran an incredible 19.30 seconds, bettering Michael Johnson's legendary 19.32 set in 1996. The exuberant Bolt might have finished even quicker if he didn't turn that celebratory backflip down the stretch.
• The Redeem Team blitzed Australia 116-85 behind 25 points from Kobe Bryant to advance to the Olympic semis. You knew things were getting out of hand when Kobe snapped at one Aussie, "Tell me how Shaq's a** tastes!"
• The Reds sent a letter to their fans apologizing for the team's play this season. In a related story, the Knicks sent the Reds a one-word message: "Suckers!"
• Umpires say they have "major issues" with MLB's plan to install instant replay later this season. For starters, they can't read the damn thing without their glasses.