Though I didn't see it (thanks, NBC), I hear that Usain Bolt looked awesome in running a 19.30 to win the Olympic 200, breaking Michael Johnson's epic world record of 19.32 set during the 1996 Atlanta Games. That makes Bolt not only the first man since Carl Lewis to sweep the 100 and 200 at the same Games, but the first ever to win both in world-record times.
In other words, Bolt is pretty fast. But as Gene Rayburn might wonder: How fast is he?
We set out to answer that in true Match Game fashion:
10. He's so fast, he can outrun the Beijing smog
9. He's so fast, he doesn't give incompetent Olympic judges time to screw him
8. He's so fast, he's literally invisible to American viewers until 13 hours after he finishes
7. He's so fast, he can finish a Michael Phelps breakfast while you're still tucking in your napkin
6. He's so fast, he hit age 16 quicker than a Chinese gymnast
5. He's so fast, he can run 50 meters before Bela Karolyi spits out a single "reep-off!"
4. He's so fast, he makes the Redeem Team look like it's running the "slow break"
3. He's so fast, Bill Clinton's taking notes
2. He's so fast, he calculated gymnastics' uneven bars tiebreaker in his head before the computer
1. He's so fast, he made America's supposed sprint dominance disappear
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11) He is so fast that he could get the LTLs written by lunchtime.
manta
Total Comments (5655)
He started the 100 meter when the starter said "set!"
Uncle Ben - Data…
Sacramento , CA
Total Comments (1071)
He is so fast that he caused TS Fay.
T-dad 88 wishes Pete…
Total Comments (1303)
Dumb Donald was so dumb, he drew a [blank].
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5973)
He is so fast that Kristen only charges him half-price
Lolly
Lilburn , GA
Total Comments (7629)
Do you think Bolt will emigrate to the United States? After all, you can't spell "Usain" without "USA".
Mr Adams
Total Comments (4481)
12) He's so fast that he can come up with a witty punchline before Richard Dawson.
manta
Total Comments (5655)
What would Charles Nelson Reilly say?
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5973)
He is so fast, he can cut off the light and be in bed before the room gets dark
Lolly
Lilburn , GA
Total Comments (7629)
He is so fast that Chuck Norris can't catch him.
But Chuck could destroy the Universe if Bolt ever whizzes him off...
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
He is so fast Chad Johnson wouldn't even dare challenge him to a race.
ningkee
Total Comments (1518)
He is so faster than anything other than a car driven by LeBron James
Lolly
Lilburn , GA
Total Comments (7629)
He is so fast that my avatar can't keep up...
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
He's so fast, after eating Chinese food, he is hungry again in fifteen minutes.
Mr Adams
Total Comments (4481)
He is too fast to be called half -ast...
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
uh...he is faster than a Bolt of lightning?
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
What would Charles Nelson Reilly say?
Anthony Verna
==========
he's too busy pushin' up daisies
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
He's so fast, he can wear Michael Johnson's shoes.
Anthony Verna
New York , NY
Total Comments (5973)
He is faster than an Isiah Thomas sexual harrassment
Lolly
Lilburn , GA
Total Comments (7629)
he is faster than the IOC's dropping any investigation into age fixing by Chinese gym-elfs...
gill_
Total Comments (13446)
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