If I was in Beijing, I'd have been done working hours ago:

• Friday in Beijing bloomed with the first bright, blue sky in recent memory -- conveniently, just in time for the start of the track and field competition. But don't get used to it. Not even China's prison camps are big enough to hold all the clouds; they'll have to be released soon.

• American Nastia Liukin won the all-around gold medal in gymnastics, one spot ahead of teammate Shawn Johnson with the silver. But don't worry, the Chinese gymnasts didn't go home empty-handed. One of them found 10 yuan under her pillow for her dislodged baby tooth.

• A Michael Phelps trading card has skyrocketed in value to $500. Though it might be partly because in the photo, a cheeky Phelps scrawled "BILLY RIPKEN" on the underside of his goggles.

• The feds have busted a Philly man who allegedly tried to blackmail Giants coach Tom Coughlin with false claims of extramarital affairs. The crook thought he had Coughlin on the hook when he got all red-faced, but it turns out Coughlin hasn't fully defrosted from that Green Bay game.

• John McEnroe was tossed from a seniors tennis tournament on Thursday after one of his patented tantrums. Apparently it got pretty bad. Even Tatum O'Neal thought he was acting pretty nutso.

• ESPN will be unveiling a new campaign for Monday Night Football starring MC Hammer. I guess Arsenio Hall was booked.

• The White Sox tied a major league record on Thursday night by hitting back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers. Wow. I haven't seen so much "back" since that Miley Cyrus photo shoot. (Sorry, there's a clearance on Miley Cyrus jokes. Everything must go!)