Did you know Davey Johnson was managing the U.S. Olympic baseball team? I didn't. At any rate:
• The Chinese women gymnastics team handily beat the Americans for the gold medal. Their biggest problem, actually, was getting to the arena. It's hard to get around when you're not allowed to cross the street by yourself yet.
• Michael Phelps is now up to five gold medals this Olympics and 11 overall after winning two more on Wednesday (Beijing time). There hasn't been a performance in the water this awesome since Darryl Hannah in Splash.
• The Spanish Olympic hoops squad seems shocked that some are upset by a team photo in which they lifted the corners of their eyes with their fingers, as if to mimic the Chinese. The Spaniards insist they aren't racist. In fact, the Spanish coach claims that one of his closest companions is Chinese food.
• Olympic officials are distributing 100,000 condoms to athletes living in the Olympic Village. Actually, they're just for the foreign athletes. Turns out the Chinese government's determined to spawn its 2020 Olympics gymnastics team over the next 10 days.
• Two Nebraska wrestlers were kicked off the team because their nude photos appeared on a gay porn site. That doesn't seem fair. Whaddya expect when you force guys to wear tights every day since childhood?
• The Jets will hang view-blocking banners on the spiral staircase at Gate D of the Meadowlands next season because men on that staircase had been yelling at women to expose their breasts. Well, it's about time. The only thing Jets fans should be drooling over is Brett Favre.
• Hank Steinbrenner now says injuries are the cause of the Yankees' struggles this season. Wow, the way this guy runs his mouth, it's amazing he's not on the DL himself with a ruptured larynx.