Jose Canseco was charged in federal court yesterday with trying to smuggle a fertility drug across the border from Mexico. Last week Canseco was detained at San Diego’s border crossing when agents found human chorionic gonadotropin, which is illegal without a prescription.
The drug is most often used to help women ovulate. Of perhaps more interest to Canseco, it can also help restore the production of testosterone lost in male steroid users. That’s why the drug is banned for use in males by the World Anti-Doping Agency.
Still, we’re sure a quick-thinking fellow like Jose did his best to talk his way out of trouble. Here are the top 10 excuses he likely offered to the border guards:
10. That’s no female fertility drug in my pants -- I’m just happy to see America
9. It’s a delightful marinade for my next BBQ
8. Who? No, I’m Ozzie
7. This is what happens when health insurance doesn’t cover even the most basic effects of illegal steroid use
6. I’m in a hurry, I hear Madonna’s available again
5. How ‘bout a signed copy of my book and we’ll call it even?
4. I had no choice after Vai Sikahema took my manhood
3. It’s safer than drinking the water, am I right folks?
2. Look over there, it’s Clemens’ nanny!
1. At least my name will be in the papers again