Here's hoping you haven't been camping out in Brooklyn waiting for the Nets to arrive:
• The upstart Rays have pushed the Red Sox to the brink by winning 13-4 last night to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the ALCS. In desperation, Boston has launched attack ads linking Tampa to a former associate, the Devil.
• Rays fever is riding so high that the team will remove the tarp that has covered the highest upper-deck seats at Tropicana Field all season. Is that really wise? Given how many Tampa Bay residents take blood thinners, how are they ever going to stop the nosebleeds?
• The NFL has suspended Cowboys DB Pacman Jones for at least four games after a brief scuffle with his own bodyguard. And there may be more bad news on the way -- we hear Pacman raised his voice at his personal chef after some allegedly underwhelming paella. That’s gotta be worth two games right there.
• The Cowboys also traded three draft picks, including a first-rounder, to the Lions for tempestuous but talented WR Roy Williams. Williams is expected to join T.O. as another threat to undermine the franchise.
• Jets QB Brett Favre reportedly called injured Cowboys QB Tony Romo to offer advice and encouragement. Apparently Favre's advice was “Don’t be a nancyboy” and the encouragement was “I wouldn’t miss a start if my pinkie was gnawed off by a wildebeest.”
• Formula One’s governing body has proposed radical cost-cutting measures given the global economic woes. Some advocate reductions of 50 percent or more. For starters, the circuit will henceforth be known as Formula .409.
• Madonna has announced she's divorcing husband Guy Ritchie. That’s some strange timing. She couldn’t wait until the last game of the World Series?