Why Bill Self is staying at Kansas

Three days after winning the national championship, coach Bill Self reached a new deal with Kansas to forestall a big-bucks offer from Oklahoma State, his alma mater. The Cowboys had not just warm sentiment in their corner but lots of cold, hard cash from booster T. Boone Pickens.

Here are the reasons why Self made Rock, Elwood and other Kansas fans happy by sticking with the Jayhawks over Oklahoma State:

10. Afraid to read all the bad-pun headlines ("Self-ish") if he left

9. Werner Ladder endorsement deal dependent on staying at KU

8. Turned off when unstable OSU football coach Mike Gundy yelled, "YOU'RE A MAN! YOU'RE 45!"

7. Oklahoma State coaches never featured in Caption This

6. Was merely using OSU offer to extract huge raise, duh!

5. Couldn't leave a team that played such great free-throw defense against Memphis

4. Had to lock in KU job before Roy Williams came crawling back

3. Shocked to discover he couldn't bring along his Kansas players

2. Failed to secure package deal that included John Calipari as permanent opposing coach

1. Discovered the "T" in "T. Boone" stood for "Tylerhansbrough"

Comments (666) Add A Comment

April 11, 2008 10:50 AM ET

Report Abuse | QUOTE

Bill Self should have hired that wonderful agent, Scott Boras. He would have gotten him a better deal and made him despised nationwide.

Brian from Jenver

Total Comments (1391)

April 11, 2008 10:51 AM ET

Hmmmm....me thinks Pete may have picked his Caption This picture on Tuesday just to set up this joke.

DJ C - Pete 3:16

Total Comments (11361)

Realized he looks worse than Skooter in Orange...

Finsterbaby

Total Comments (11338)

11. His momma wouldn't let her baby grow up to be a Cowboy.

Martel - Moopsbane

Total Comments (4769)

April 11, 2008 10:52 AM ET

Self believes Kansas is dedicated to graduating its student athletes.

E-Lib

Spring Hill , FL

Total Comments (388)

12.8) Saw that the "blame the media" line was already used by Gundy

BKJ - no 10 Spot, no…

Jacksonville , FL

Total Comments (6092)

April 11, 2008 10:53 AM ET

No 6 is borderline actual reporting, boss. The AP doesn't infringe on you, leave the real stuff to them.

Oh, wait, I missed Duh! the first time...Duh!

11) Needs more time to ponder the Rock Chalk cheer.

Hart -

Edgerton , OH

Total Comments (1290)

Hmmmm....me thinks Pete may have picked his Caption This picture on Tuesday just to set up this joke.
DJ Chris - SitH Lord
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I wish I planned ahead that far. No, I just try to get through the day, then the next one, then the next one ...

The 10 Spot

Total Comments (6586)

Oh, Sure Pete! Steal my comment that you didn't pick regarding Werner Ladders from Tuesday's Caption This and trot it back out on Friday posing as your own work.

Clef - TAFNaB

Total Comments (4231)

April 11, 2008 10:54 AM ET

Self believes Kansas is dedicated to graduating its student athletes.
E-Lib
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Now that's a good joke!

11. His momma wouldn't let her baby grow up to be a Cowboy.

Martel - Captain of Kangaroos |
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except....that she already did....it's his Aluminum Matter...

gill_

Total Comments (12241)

April 11, 2008 10:55 AM ET

Oh, Sure Pete! Steal my comment that you didn't pick regarding Werner Ladders from Tuesday's Caption This and trot it back out on Friday posing as your own work.
TAFNAB-Giants win 3 in a row!
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