Evander Holyfield will reportedly fight Russia’s Nikolai Valuev next month for the WBA heavyweight crown at the tender age of 46.
Far be it for the 10 Spot to tell Holyfield what to do, especially since he probably won’t hear us anyway with those bite-reduced ears of his. But maybe, just maybe, he’s a hair too old to step into the ring against a relatively youthful 35-year-old who stands 7 feet tall and weighs 330 pounds.
Here are some signs that perhaps you’re too old to be fighting for the heavyweight title:
10. You test positive for Doan’s pills
9. You don’t mind tasting leather because of the helpful fiber
8. A hard punch knocks out both your mouthpiece and dentures
7. The referee’s your son
6. You’re still trying to get used to wearing gloves
5. You voted for McCain
4. Your toughest opponent was the Marquess of Queensberry
3. You remember when there were legitimate “Great White Hopes”
2. You need smelling salts to get out of bed
1. You drew your last fight -- with Regis