Here are some nuggets to enjoy as you scramble to conceal your loaded, unlicensed handgun:
• The NFL has suspended six players four games each for violating the league’s anti-doping policy. In related news, the Giants have suspended Plaxico Burress four games for violating the team’s anti-dope policy.
• Fox will air live coverage of BCS games in 3-D at select theaters. In fact, the network has discovered that those ridiculous 3-D glasses are the only thing that makes the BCS look normal.
• Oregon has named offensive coordinator Chip Kelly as the eventual successor to head coach Mike Bellotti. Hold on here, Oregon’s offensive coordinator -- is that what they call whoever puts together those godawful uniforms?
• USC coach Pete Carroll says the team is willing to sacrifice a timeout in Saturday’s road game at UCLA in order to wear the team’s home jerseys. Well, that’s a steep price, but it’s still a lot less than the Trojans paid for the home of Reggie Bush.
• Charlie Weis will return for a fifth season as Notre Dame football coach. It seems that paying his buyout proved a decided schematic disadvantage for the school’s checkbook.
• Golf Digest has released its rankings of the top 15 golfing presidents, with Barack Obama slotted in eighth place, between Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan. Ho hum. I’m waiting for Guns and Ammo’s picks for top 15 shooting vice-presidents.