The 10 Spot Blog

by Pete McEntegart

Mcentegart_pete
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  • 10:55 AM ET  12.05

Well, this is the swan song for the Write Your Own Joke contest. I was laid off this morning, while sitting at this very desk eating a bowl of Fiber One cereal with a side of fruit. (Hey, I need my health now more than ever.)

So the 10 Spot will shortly go the way of my employment here at SI. Which is to say, into the wind. Still, it seemed churlish not to follow through with the results of the WYOJ contest. I also anticipate producing a “regular” edition of Friday LTLs, complete with a LOW. Perhaps next Monday will bring some sort of farewell edition, but that is still TBD. After that, your guess is as good as mine.

[UPDATE: This will actually be the final post for today. I just don't think I'll be able to summon the funnies for Lunchtime Laughs. My apologies. On the positive side, at least for me, that also means I will close shop on the Lock of the Week with a season record of 9-4 (.692). So if the season ended today -- along with, coincidentally, my SI career -- I'd get a first-round bye into the picking playoffs.]

Anyway, there were a lot of great entries, especially for the Burress/Pierce mess. Here we go:

Topic 1: “Giants LB Antonio Pierce will reportedly testify against teammate Plaxico Burress in front of a grand jury. __________.”

Winner: “Pierce will then enter the federal witness protection program; he'll be traded to the Lions and become completely anonymous.” (greybeard)

Honorable Mention:

“Giants' Coach Tom Coughlin is said to be red-faced over the whole affair, but that could just be the weather.” (Tim in NY)

“In a related story, Tiki Barber announced with glee that he's willing to testify against any and all of the Giants.” (Zowie)

“That is, of course, if Pierce doesn't have to drop *his* kids off at school that morning.” (Mark G)

“Most NFL insiders saw the Giant's decision as further evidence that, while he is a quality linebacker, Pierce is no Ray Lewis.” (Galloping Ghost)

“Antonio isn't thinking about it so much as ratting on a friend, but as helping him negotiate a new multi-year contract with the State of New York.” (Tphtwpe)

“To protect his identity Pierce will be allowed to use a tinted visor.” (Finsterbaby)

“To ensure Plaxico is unarmed, Pierce requested the testimony be given on Pantsless Thursday.” (RgrRabbit)

“Since he has his own related legal issues, Pierce's main goal during his testimony will be to not shoot himself in the foot.” (The Card Says Moops)

“Plax reportedly offered an olive branch by sending him a Carmelo Anthony DVD for Christmas.” (hedgehog)

“Burress is thought to be the first NFL player to be shot in the leg and stabbed in the back over the course of one week.” (Galloping Ghost)

 

Topic 2: “Auburn AD Jay Jacobs says he was ‘shocked’ when Tommy Tuberville resigned as football coach yesterday, and had never considered firing him. __________.”

Winner: “The comments played right into the hands of Jacobs' critics, who have consistently complained that he lacks the speed to keep up with SEC coaching changes.” (Tim in NY)

Honorable Mention:

“Jacobs said that if that had intended to fire Tuberville, he first would have secretly flown in at least one potential replacement for an interview.” (fluffy kitten)

“He was so shocked, in fact, he almost hung up on Mike Leach.” (Caveman HC6)

“Jacobs also says he was ‘damn near electrocuted’ when he found out about Santa last week.” (Finsterbaby)

“Jacobs stated that he was operating under the assumption that Tuberville still had 3-4 assistants that he planned to pin blame on, just like always.” (gc -- Chairman of the Bored)

“‘In fact,’ Jacobs continued, ‘didn't we get rid of that guy four or five years ago?’” (Galloping Ghost)

“Jacobs continued that it had always been Auburn's policy to pay ridiculous golden parachutes to coaches who resign.” (Caveman HC6)

“The hit man Jacobs hired confirmed that report.” (Rickapolis)

“Jacobs later went to the emergency room to have his wrenched fingers uncrossed.” (BKJ)

“Unfortunately, Jacobs and Tuberville each interpret ‘re-signed’ with completely different meanings.” (rock chalk)

“Jacobs fully expected boosters would simply run Tuberville off.” (Caveman HC6)

July 14, 2010  01:50 PM ET

Mimeograph.

August 25, 2010  04:26 PM ET

You think you've won, don't you? That's so funny.

September 14, 2010  08:05 AM ET

OK, who keeps leaving the door unlocked?

October 7, 2010  10:35 PM ET

You know I'm not going to let you win this....right?

October 7, 2010  11:35 PM ET

Son of a biscuit!

October 8, 2010  07:01 PM ET

That was too quick. You should have waited until I dropped my guard. Why am I telling you this?

October 20, 2010  08:07 AM ET

oops

October 25, 2010  03:31 PM ET
QUOTE(#2671):

oops

Got that right.

November 3, 2010  08:15 AM ET
QUOTE(#2672):

Got that right.

sure got that right.

November 30, 2010  05:18 PM ET

Wow, who knew this zombie site would live on for so long?

Other than that pithy observation, I got nuthin'.

December 7, 2010  09:48 AM ET
QUOTE(#2674):

Wow, who knew this zombie site would live on for so long? Other than that pithy observation, I got nuthin'.

Well lookie what the cat dragged in...

December 21, 2010  10:21 AM ET

It's still here.... just waiting for Pete to come back....

December 21, 2010  02:37 PM ET

Heeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooo Peaches!

Oh, and right church, wrong pew...we're one post over, on the right...

December 21, 2010  04:09 PM ET

what he said.

January 3, 2011  08:49 AM ET

.

January 3, 2011  11:02 PM ET
QUOTE(#2679):

.

So what's your point?

February 8, 2011  10:09 AM ET

OK, this is the LAST time I want to have to come in here!

April 6, 2011  10:48 PM ET

.... is the coast clear?

April 21, 2011  09:44 AM ET

If by clear, you mean: nobody here but us church mice, then no...

 
July 11, 2011  10:06 AM ET

I bet you think you have won. Congratulations!

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