Welcome back to Caption This, which will be held this week on Monday and Wednesday. (Thursday will bring the December edition of the Write Your Own Joke contest.)
For the fact-mongers out there, the photo is of two disgruntled Bengals fans watching the Ravens dismantle the home team 34-3 yesterday in Cincinnati. Though there is some evidence that the men don’t want to be recognized, for posterity’s sake they are Patrick Sandker (left) and Nick Stewart.
Feel free to submit a suggested caption in the comments section. I will post some selections tonight.
Here are a baker's dozen:
“Fan on right mourns the suffocation deaths of other disgruntled Bengals fans who opted for plastic, not paper.” (Martel; others who worked the paper/plastic angle included Zowie and Munkcy)
“Based on what he saw, the referee signaled a first down on the Ravens’ latest play against the Bengals.” (Midvalley)
“Bengals fans plead for someone to get arrested to take their minds off the game they are watching.” (Texadillo)
Here are some nuggets as you ponder the fact that there are only two more African-American head coaches in major college football than there are guys named Dabo:
• Both Alex Rodriguez and Madonna were spotted yesterday in Mexico City. Hey, how’s that immigration wall coming? Can we speed it up?
• The 11-1 Giants shook off the distraction of WR Plaxico Burress shooting himself to beat the Redskins 23-7 on Sunday. Giants players say their biggest motivation was avoiding the inevitable “self-inflicted wound” puns if they lost.
Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress turned himself in this morning at a New York City police station. Burress is expected to face gun charges after accidentally shooting himself in the right thigh with his own gun -- which evidently slipped from its hiding spot under his waistband -- on Friday evening at a New York nightclub.
This story has been convoluted from the start, and it just keeps getting stranger. Among the latest revelations is that Burress reportedly gave the hospital the name “Harris Smith” and said he’d been shot at an Applebee’s restaurant. Hey, it happens.
Here are Plax’s top excuses for the whole mess:
10. Thought he was just really happy to see his gin and tonic
9. Treating bad hammy with “extreme rehab”
Here's to a great Turkey Day to you and yours:
* Two members of New York’s City Council want the Mets to call their new stadium “Citi/Taxpayer Field.” But the Mets say they’re sticking with troubled partner Citigroup. Apparently the team relates to squandering huge sums of money in a monumental collapse.
* The Lions have sold out their Thanksgiving game vs. the Titans to avoid a local TV blackout. Good thing too, or Ford execs would have had to jump on the private jet to catch the game.
LeBron James visited New York last night to help his Cavs clobber the Knicks 119-101. That certainly didn’t keep the home fans from imagining LeBron in a Knicks jersey, especially since the team traded pretty much everything that wasn’t nailed down last week in an effort to clear cap space for LeBron’s potential free agency in 2010.
Here are some of the pitches that the Knicks are trying out to lure LeBron to New York:
10. Interns will tend to your every need (wink, wink)
9. Financial capital of world is home to Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Citigroup -- wait, what?
8. Starring role in next Spike Lee hit, which will be even bigger than ... um ... Do The Right Thing?