Comparing Tebow To A Musk Ox?

2008-09-10T14:49:37-04:00

<img style="margin: 5px; width: 210px; height: 500px; float: right;" src="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/images/sweep/Tebow.muskox.jpg" alt="" width="210" height="500" /> I knew when I saw the one-character subject line (?) and the first line of a writer friend's e-mail (Musk ox?) that I had some 'splaining to do. In case you missed my column from last night's Florida-Miami game, I compared Florida quarterback Tim Tebow <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/andy_staples/09/07/staples.florida.miami/index.html">to a muskox</a>  -- or musk ox, depending <a href="http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Ovibos_moschatus.html">on your chosen text</a> -- while analyzing the fact that the Hurricanes managed only one sack despite a well-crafted blitzing strategy and some excellent young pass-rushers. One Florida fan e-mailed to say he was highly offended that I would compare Tebow to Ovibos moschatus, a large, furry ungulate that lives near the Arctic circle. The defending Heisman Trophy winner, whose attributes as a human being surpass even his superb abilities on the football field, should take no offense. The comparison was a compliment. Allow me to explain. I needed an animal analogy to describe Tebow's rare combination of strength and agility in the face of a pack of predators. Funny-named animals tend to pack more of a literary punch, but comparing Tebow to a platypus or an aardvark really would have been insulting. I considered a bull moose, but I refrained from that analogy because of <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/the_bonus/09/04/sports.politics/index.html">its political implications</a>; Teddy Roosevelt ran as the Bull Moose Party's candidate in 1912, and current Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin's fondness for hunting moose and turning said moose into stew has been well chronicled in recent weeks. Plus, moose have a bad habit of getting run over by trucks, some of which resemble Miami's defensive linemen in speed and size. So I went with the musk ox, which is unfortunately named because of the scent males sometimes excrete. And while that scent may offend the human nose, female oxen find it quite fetching. Now that Gov. Charlie Crist is engaged, Tebow is Florida's most eligible bachelor, so that part of the comparison works. Also, while musk oxen look like huge, lumbering beasts, they actually are quite agile. Despite weighing as much as 800 pounds, they are surprisingly quick and nimble when negotiating rocky, snowy hillsides. And woe unto the wolf who tries to attack a musk ox herd. When defending the herd, the oxen gather together with their horns facing out. Should a wolf come near, the dominant ox might charge, trampling the wolf or tossing it with its horns. Tebow has been known to do the same thing to defensive ends with his stiff-arm. Hopefully, Tebow took no offense at the comparison. He shouldn't. Who wouldn't want to be known as a giant, strong, quick, agile defender of the herd whom the ladies find irresistible? Comparing Tebow To A Musk Ox?

2008-09-07T17:48:45-04:00

2008-09-10T06:38:24-04:00

2008-09-10T14:49:37-04:00

WmRamsey

Stockton 158437

1 Good sense of humor Andy. Now, only if the article can get guys with slick backed hair wearing gold chains in Miami to stop using musk cologne, then it would be as a public service. 2708245

2008-09-09T05:04:46-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/122/135/thumb/KANSAS_Signs.jpg 245 KS

JayhawkRock

Lawrence 122434

I was really glad to find this post. When I read that article, I immediately texted my two best sports fan friends quoting that line, and telling them that though I despise Tebow, that was the funniest metaphor I had ever read in a sports article. Well done. And nice to see an SI writer willing to respond to us mere peasants. 2697509

2008-09-08T21:26:49-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/245/899/thumb/staples_andy2.jpg 34

Andy Staples

246219

WmRamsey, If I hadn't explained myself, how else would I have been able to get a picture of a musk ox on SI.com? And rhymeister, I didn't go with buffalo because of the same getting-hit-by-vehicles issue. Haven't you seen Fletch? "Can I borrow your towel? My car hit a water buffalo." Andy 2695871

2008-09-08T19:21:32-04:00

WmRamsey

Stockton 158437

goose > geese moose > moose (why not meese?) rhymeister | 09/08/08, 12:30 AM rhymeister, b/c it sounds gay. Move on. 2694956

2008-09-08T19:18:24-04:00

WmRamsey

Stockton 158437

Cannot understand why you felt the need to explain yourself. Remove the tampon, and find some bull moose _alls! 2694984

2008-09-08T00:30:39-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/483/1/thumb/byebyetn.jpg 2198

rhymeister

tea town aka Tokyo 4851

I don't know how fast muskoxen are...but I think Tebow is more of a buffalo. Those things fly and are really painful to tackle. Here's a question about animals and the English language, can someone take a stab as to why: goose > geese moose > moose (why not meese?) 2686550

2008-09-07T23:57:19-04:00

Alex22

Keller 517729

Tim Tebow for President, 2024 2686504

2008-09-07T21:42:28-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/245/899/thumb/staples_andy2.jpg 34

Andy Staples

246219

Bofarr27, Nothing can stand in the way of a musk ox metaphor. Andy 2685688

2008-09-07T21:16:37-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/217/819/thumb/UF_circle_logo.png 46 FL

Jams

Gainesville 218119

I wanna be a musk ox! 2685422

2008-09-07T18:13:14-04:00

http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/120/439/thumb/CouchBombers4.jpg 3 CA

bofarr27

San Bruno 120739

Don't let growing ignorance of the nuance of the English language stand in the way of a good metaphor! 2684305

<img style="width: 210px; height: 500px;" src="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/images/sweep/Tebow.muskox.jpg" alt="" width="210" height="500" align="right" /> I knew when I saw the one-character subject line (?) and the first line of a writer friend's e-mail (Musk ox?) that I had some 'splaining to do. In case you missed my column from last night's Florida-Miami game, I compared Florida quarterback Tim Tebow <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/andy_staples/09/07/staples.florida.miami/index.html">to a muskox</a>  -- or musk ox, depending <a href="http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Ovibos_moschatus.html">on your chosen text</a> -- while analyzing the fact that the Hurricanes managed only one sack despite a well-crafted blitzing strategy and some excellent young pass-rushers. One Florida fan e-mailed to say he was highly offended that I would compare Tebow to Ovibos moschatus, a large, furry ungulate that lives near the Arctic circle. The defending Heisman Trophy winner, whose attributes as a human being surpass even his superb abilities on the football field, should take no offense. The comparison was a compliment. Allow me to explain. I needed an animal analogy to describe Tebow's rare combination of strength and agility in the face of a pack of predators. Funny-named animals tend to pack more of a literary punch, but comparing Tebow to a platypus or an aardvark really would have been insulting. I considered a bull moose, but I refrained from that analogy because of <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/the_bonus/09/04/sports.politics/index.html">its political implications</a>; Teddy Roosevelt ran as the Bull Moose Party's candidate in 1912, and current Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin's fondness for hunting moose and turning said moose into stew has been well chronicled in recent weeks. Plus, moose have a bad habit of getting run over by trucks, some of which resemble Miami's defensive linemen in speed and size. So I went with the musk ox, which is unfortunately named because of the scent males sometimes excrete. And while that scent may offend the human nose, female oxen find it quite fetching. Now that Gov. Charlie Crist is engaged, Tebow is Florida's most eligible bachelor, so that part of the comparison works. Also, while musk oxen look like huge, lumbering beasts, they actually are quite agile. Despite weighing as much as 800 pounds, they are surprisingly quick and nimble when negotiating rocky, snowy hillsides. And woe unto the wolf who tries to attack a musk ox herd. When defending the herd, the oxen gather together with their horns facing out. Should a wolf come near, the dominant ox might charge, trampling the wolf or tossing it with its horns. Tebow has been known to do the same thing to defensive ends with his stiff-arm. Hopefully, Tebow took no offense at the comparison. He shouldn't. Who wouldn't want to be known as a giant, strong, quick, agile defender of the herd whom the ladies find irresistible? 1222 http://img.fannation.com/upload/user_profile/image/245/899/thumb/staples_andy2.jpg 34

Andy Staples

246219