Tim Larson/Icon SMI
"What are you gonna vote?"
"None of the above!"
-- Brewster's Millions
Are you tired of the smear campaigns, the folksy Alaska hockey mom, The Blueprint for Change and all this talk about "mavericks?" Since following Montomery Brewster's would be viewed as irresponsible ... why shouldn't we look to college football for the next president?
In honor of the third and final John McCain-Barack Obama debate, The Tenth Power is zeroing in on 10 current college football figures who should run for the country's highest office, with no regard paid to the constitution's age requirement.
1. Jim Tressel, Ohio State. He already has the presidential attribute of being able to talk to the press without actually saying anything and he's nicknamed "The Senator" -- wouldn't "Mr. President" be the next logical move?
2. Nick Saban, Alabama. With a national deficit of $10 trillion-plus, who better to turn things around in a hurry than the guy who has taken the Crimson Tide from 6-7 before his arrival to No. 2 in the country? Of course, there is that risk China will lure him away with a bigger contract.
3. Tim Tebow, Florida. He's a perennial do-gooder (see missionary trips and circumcisions) with a Heisman trophy and a seemingly spotless record -- except for what he did to the (LSU) Tigers last weekend. Maiming an endangered species won't play well in the polls.
4. Mike Leach, Texas Tech. With his off-the-cuff style and penchant for ripping into officials (i.e. Washington insiders) he's as close to Sarah Palin as you can get in college football. He doesn't have anything as SNL-ready as the Katie Couric interviews, but his dating tips aren't far off.
5. Joe Paterno, Penn State. If you put an emphasis on experience, JoePa's 42 years as a head coach make him your man. Of course at 81, he's older than McCain (72) and his recent run of coaching from the press box makes you wonder how it would go over if he did his State of the Union Address from the Senate press gallery.
6. Will Muschamp, Texas. Obama's perceived lack of experience isn't hurting his appeal; Muschamp's on everyone's short list as a head coaching candidate despite having never been a head coach. Both can rally the troops, but could you imagine Obama leading a rally with blood smeared across his face?
7. Pete Carroll, USC. Carroll's got that ultra-cool vibe like Bill Clinton, minus all the Monica Lewinski stuff, though what he did at the helm of the Patriots (27-21 in three seasons) was scandalous enough.
8. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech. Like Ron Paul and his "abolish the IRS" plan, people said Johnson bringing the triple option to the ACC was a crazy move. But so far so good for P.J., whose Yellow Jackets are 5-1. Think he's already hung a "Mission Accomplished" banner in Bobby Dodd?
9. Mark Richt, Georgia. To move into the Oval Office you have to be media savvy, and Richt's got it covered. He has his own blog, TV show and appeared in a movie (Facing The Giants). But he's absolutely not allowed to decide what color troops wear in battle.
10. Ann Bowden. Hillary Clinton ran on the platform of her experience as First Lady. Well, seeing how Bobby Bowden's wife ranks as the The First Lady of Football, you'd think she's picked up something in nearly 60 years of marriage to the Florida State coach. Let's just hope she wasn't paying as much attention to fired sons Jeff, Terry and Tommy.