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"My hair is my trademark. Just like the 'I don't like to shower' look is your trademark."
-- Lanie Kerrigan (Angelina Jolie) from Life or Something Like it
Yes, it's a quote from a chick flick, but it's fitting. While McDonald has its arches, Elton John has his extraordinarily bizarre glasses and Hugh Hefner has his entourage of busty blondes, college football coaches also have their trademarks, those identifiable things that their fans love and opposing fans loathe. This week, the Tenth Power looks at the nation's top 10 coaching trademarks.
1. Joe Paterno's black shoes. Jacket and tie? JoePa rocks the black shoes. Sweater and windbreaker? JoePa rocks the black shoes. Sure, you could call the Coke-bottle lenses or the rolled up khakis his calling card, but it's these kicks (and year after year of staving off retirement) that define Penn State's beloved coach.
2. Bobby Bowden's sunglasses. No offense, Corey Hart, but nobody knows how to wear sunglasses at night quite like The Riverboat Gambler. Whether he's sporting the wraparounds, red-tinted lenses or mirrored specs, the Florida State icon continues to be the only AARP member who owns Oakleys.
3. Steve Spurrier's visor. If Ashton Kutcher was responsible for the trucker-hat craze, you have to peg the visor trend on the Ol' Ballcoach. From Florida to the Redskins and now South Carolina (at Duke his trademark was just bad clothes), the snarl and the lid that lets his massively impressive offensive mind breath are unmistakably Spurrier.
4. Jim Tressel's sweater vest. The Ohio State coach may look like he was plucked from the pages of a J.Crew catalog, a private school or a golf course, but the sweater vest has become a symbol of The Senator's polished exterior -- and it also makes for a pretty sweet bottle koozie.
5. Les Miles' hat. The white lid with the purple LSU across the front has landed the Tigers coach the amazingly creative moniker "The Hat." But it's not just the hat itself that defines Miles, it's the drill sergeant/R. Lee Ermey way he barely has it sitting on the top of his head. But if it's good enough for Snoop ...
6. Pete Carroll's California cool. It's not as tangible as some of the others on the list, but it's Carroll's eternal youth that seems to symbolize both the coach and the USC program. He's a guy so tied into pop culture that he can do the Soulja Boy dance with his players and get love from "a large white man in a diaper" also known as Will Ferrell.
7. Charlie Weis' smugness. Call it arrogance, call it a complete disdain for anyone who dares to question the way he does things or fails to get his jokes, but Weis' all-around blustery demeanor has been the most consistent thing about Notre Dame since he took over.
8. Mark Mangino and Dave Wannstedt's mustaches. Ah, mustaches. Mangino has one that makes the Kansas coach look like a cross between the Mario Bros. and Dom Deluise, while Wannstedt's upper lip whiskers could have the Pitt head man mistaken for Geraldo Rivera or Rafael Palmeiro.
9. Dan Hawkins and Nick Saban's hair. Hawk Love has taken hold at Colorado, but does that mean there's a rash of shaggy, helmet-haired guys roaming the CU campus? The people must know. Saban and his locks have bumped Georgia' Mark Richt for the SEC's best "butt-cut." You have to wonder, what kind of product does the Alabama coach use to make sure his feathered mane never has a hair out of place?
10. June Jones' shirts. The former Hawaii coach took a bit of his Islands vibe with him to SMU as he continues to wear the untucked, oversized bowling shirts that are acceptable when you're actually in or coaching at Hawaii or attending a Jimmy Buffett concert.