FanNation - The Republic of Sport

Moondizzle... said 05/07, 10:56 AM
Barry Zito is the best pitcher ever to sign a 7-year, $126 million contract. Simply stated: Nobody else has signed it. Who else has been able to make $1.97 million a win in major league baseball? Nobody. Thats who.

Not only that, but he has shown incredible flexibility since signing the deal. He has varied his pitching speed from the original 88-91 mph and now hovers at 84 mph or even less!

What other veteran is cagey and crafty enough to throw hitters off like that? Sure, they may be hitting .330 or whatnot against him, but that is still the BEST amongst pitchers who have signed a 7-year, $126 million contract.

Flexibility? This guy can even pitch out of the bullpen. He is versatile. Versatility is just awesome. On a scale of awesome magnitude, this guy actually scores points in his sleep. He also plays the guitar better than Bernie Williams and Bronson Arroyo.

His 11 wins since signing the contract are most among pitchers who have signed the 7-year, $126 million deal. And he has the most games started among players of the same ilk. Simply stated: he is the best of THAT bunch.

He doesn't even wear his name on the back of his jersey. Amazing.

Moondizzle... said 05/07, 11:57 AM
You have stepped out on a limb here, Sir Rams alot, and I must take you to task for your disregard for the throwdown's parameters.

The throwdown, of course, calls Zito the best pitcher ever to sign the contract. You have stated incorrectly that Vernon Wells owns a 0.00 earned run average, not taking into account one important factor:

Pitchers don't go to bat in the American League. Hence his E.R.A. statistics actually are recorded as N/A, as opposed to 0.00. N/A, if you add it up, is 15. N being the 14th letter in the alphabet, A being the 1st.

His E.R.A., once converted numerically, is 15.00, which is obscene. N/A goes for all other stats, including losses, wins, starts, AND innings, all of which are 15 - and all of which do not measure up to Zito's.

I have joined a Tibetan Temple, under the guise of Dizzle Moon, so that people don't figure my true identity. And the only baseball player that has come there was Roger Clemens, who subsequently tried to sleep with me.

Vernon Wells also plays in Toronto, which makes his stats Canadian. The dollar value is different. So even if his stats weren't N/A, the value of his deal is UNAMERICAN.

Jesus doesn't love you.

Moondizzle... said 05/07, 01:07 PM
Jesus hates the French. This much I know and endorse.

Technically speaking, if you want to convert all parts of the N/A formula, one can not ignore the ' / ' part of the equation. Because backslash has no known value, it must be allocated a digit for which it is closest to. As it is located above the number 8 on your keyboard's right side, that is its assigned digit, making even your formula a minimum of 08, or 8. E.R.A. of 8. 8 Wins. 8 Strikeouts. 8 Innings pitched. He still loses if he's only lost 8 games.

There is only one temple to join. I'm sorry you didn't get the memo. Roger Clemens got it, and thats where Koby was born.

Being from NY, I can not agree that Olive Garden is Italian. I don't care if its made by Mussolini himself. In fact, I wouldn't even care if they have a dish called "Zito"...as they shouldn't even be allowed to call their pasta, 'pasta'...

My characters are dwindling. So, in conclusion, the best PITCHER to ever sign a 7 year, $126 million deal under the American value system, who does not play the field in a league where pitchers don't hit, is Barry Zito.

Versatile. Unique. Cagey. Zito has done it all. And you can send me my chimp ASAP.