- 12/09/2008, 09:15PM ET
LGP: Pensational! said 12/09, 09:15 PM
Individual records in baseball are as plentiful as virgins at a Star Trek convention or lesbians at a taping of the Ellen Show.
My choice takes us to April 23rd, 1999 in the 3rd inning of a game between the St. Louis Cardinals and the L.A. Dodgers. It was on this momentous occasion that not one, but two records were set with 2 swings of the bat.
Fernando Tatis of the Cardinals hit 2 GRAND SLAMS in the SAME INNING driving in 8 runs! Off the same pitcher no less. This has NEVER happened in the history of the game. Just ask Stowe, he's been around so long that he was blamed for stealing Shoeless Joe Jackson's shoes.
There have been only 12 players in the history of baseball that have ever hit 2 grand slams in the same game, let alone in the same inning of that game.
There are several factors that make this record so amazing and unbreakable. The circumstances that need to occur to make this record possible are so unique that the CHANCE may never arise again, let alone someone actually achieving this feat.
I dare say it would be impossible for anyone to hit 3 grand slams in a single inning off the same pitcher, rendering this record truly UNBREAKABLE.
Porkins. said 12/10, 07:24 AM
Grand slams are impressive. What's more impressive is watching T-fo's mom scarf down Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny's. I'd go into how she pays for them, but really- I think we've all seen her butter-soaked, crumb-covered hands in action.
Let's move on.
Tatis' feat IS amazing. But let me throw another number at you:
A: Pitt's score on the purity test?
B: Agrippa's IQ?
C: The year of stowe's birth?
D: The number of Fizzle's girlfriends, all-time?
E: A reference to my choice?
F: All of the above?
The answer is F. Like the only grades Dyhard ever earns.
0 is the number of double plays Craig Biggio grounded into in 1997. He is the only man to play a 162-game season without hitting into any double plays.
And if you're tempted to dismiss it check THIS out:
He played EVERY GAME.
He LED THE LEAGUE in:
-times on base
Your record was a freak occurrence in 1 game. Mine was a concentrated effort over the course of an entire year.
But better yet for THIS TD, mine is LITERALLY unbreakable. It is impossible to hit into fewer than 0 double plays.
Yours is UNLIKELY to be broken. Mine is UNABLE to be broken.
LGP: Pensational! said 12/10, 04:55 PM
Premature voting is about as satisfying as premature ejaculation...just ask T-fo's mother.
(Side note--Don't worry redwing19, it gets better with age and if not, you can always borrow Fizz's medicine.)
But I digress. So my portly friend, your choice of a record set in the last 25 years is that Biggio went an entire year playing every game without hitting into a double play. Nice choice. EXCEPT IT'S BEEN DONE BEFORE!
In 1935, the leadoff hitter for the Cubs was Augie Galan. And I quote, "He played the full 154-game schedule, 646 at-bats, without hitting into a double play, the first season of its kind." Even Peachy is smart enough to figure out that 1935 was more than 25 years ago.
1997-Biggio:162 games played 619 ABs
1935-Galan:154 games played 646 ABs
Biggio DID NOT SET A RECORD in 1997, he merely TIED one that was set in 1935.
Tatis, on the other hand, set a record that will NEVER be broken.
Only 3 outs. At least 27 men would have to come to the plate and one man would have to have the bases loaded each time. Then, he'd have to hit a home run. Roberts#1 has a better chance of getting some action than that.
Anyone want to change their votes now?
Porkins. said 12/10, 05:05 PM
I'm sorry, did math change?
Last time I checked 154 did not equal 162. Which is why I said in my first argument that Biggio is the only man to play a 162-game season with 0 double plays.
Hence the whole "record" part of the equation. A record he DID indeed set.
As for: "Tatis, on the other hand, set a record that will NEVER be broken."
Short of sneaking Old "Straddlin' Stowe" into the locker room with a bottle of Astroglide, it would be very difficult to top Tatis. That much is obvious.
However, like the broken condom that led to T-fo's conception, improbable events DO happen.
Players have hit two Grand Slams in the same GAME 12 times- others have come close to matching Fernando's feat.
It was an amazing set of circumstances but one that COULD someday be replicated or surpassed.
Unlikely as hell? Of course. But after all...someone married Ram. Even claimed to be a woman.
On the other hand, as we've established, no one can hit into fewer than zero twin killings in a 162-game season.
(please note that in this case, "twin killings" does NOT refer to Dave's sexually-based murder of Hans and Franz. We'll leave that one for later)
LGP: Pensational! said 12/11, 08:56 AM
"did math change?"
Your logic is flawed. Baseball has never cared about the number of games played when it comes to its record book. Does 61 ring a bell?
So for the purpose of this TD, you are trying to rewrite the record books. The record says that both Galan and Biggio played a full season without hitting into a DP. You can wrap it in whatever package you want, but it is still an old record.
Your words, "It is impossible to hit into fewer than 0 double plays."
Galan hit into 0...that cannot be broken. So what record did Biggio break? According to Baseball Almanac, Biggio only tied the record set by Galan.
If a guy is traded mid season, plays 163 games and hits into 0 double plays, he broke Biggio's record. That is the logic you are using in saying Biggio broke Galan's record.
If that's the case, your record is no longer unbreakable.
"He LED THE LEAGUE in:-plate appearances-times on base-AND runs"
And that's relevant how? Galan had 27 more plate appearances despite playing in less games.
You may be the author of "Gravy, it's good on everything", but Baseball Almanac is the Official Baseball History site. No record there, NO RECORD HERE!
Porkins. said 12/11, 10:16 AM
Your attempts to undermine my argument are like using sweatpants as a holster.
They don't hold up.
Only 1 man has played a 162-game season without hitting into a double play.
I'm sorry if it's not a SEXY RECORD like yours. I know that although chicks tend to run away screaming at your propositions, they DO dig the long ball. But while my choice may not have the glitz of home runs, it IS a record nonetheless.
Your argument about expanding the season is somewhat more legit, but COME ON...are we arguing hypothetical baseball or REAL WORLD baseball?
It's POSSIBLE the season could be expanded.
It's also POSSIBLE the fences could be moved in, making grand slams easier to come by. Or maybe MLB will lower the mound to give hitters more advantage.
UH-OH! Those things MIGHT result in someone breaking Tatis' record!
All these MIGHTS and MAYBES are a slippery slope argument. More slippery than Pitt and Agrippa in the oily throes of lovemak- uh...wrestling.
Baseball already goes into November. They're not expanding the season.
0 double plays in a full 162-game season. Unbreakable.
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