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  • 12/10/2008, 12:56PM ET

Charlie Weis is fat

IamRightYouAreWrong (1-11-1) vs rstowe-GONE (323-73-17)
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Have you seen him? He is huge


All depends on what your definition of fat is:

Are we talking Porkins fat?

Are we talking TFo's Mom fat?

Are we talking John Madden after eating a turducken fat?


Also, it really depends on who he is standing next to:

Is Romeo Crennel next to him?

Is Porkins within 5 miles?

Is TFo's Mom on the same continent?

See, your perception of "fat" really depends on many outside influences. So until you can tell me the exact situation you are thinking of Charlie Weis in (there's an image for you), I can't succesfully counter any argument you make.


Well true... compared to Rosie O'Donnel I guess he is kinda small.
Maybe next to Mangino he would look average.

But on those sidelines he looks huge compared to his assistants and the players... Maybe he should go stand near the ND cheerleaders to look a little smaller


Can the astronauts on the Internation Space Station look down and see him? No, they only see the Great Wall of China, TFo's Mom and Porkins (granted Porkins is barely a blip but he is there).

Charlie Weis isn't fat; he's just big boned like a brontosaurus was.

Why are you picking on fat people? Did a fat person sit on you or eat your dog? Did one sit next to you on a plane? Was the fat chick you picked up during last call last night, fatter and uglier than you thought?

Please tell me what you're problem is. Charlie Weis is a winner (fat or not), otherwise how do you explain the contract he got and the fact that the Patriots haven't won jack since he left?


I have heard that Charlie is so fat he makes the team run laps around him as punishment
It takes the entire defense to push him on the tackling sled
His blood type is Crisco
He sat on Rudy and he hasn't been seen since
He just bought a new 8,400 square foot..... fridge
Jumped off a boat and in the ocean and caused the South Pacific Tsunami
Once found a bucket of chicken under his chins


Those are all good reasons except:

He lost in an eating contest to Porkins - no fat person loses an eating contest

When his players slap his butt in congratulations, the blubber actually stops moving, however, if you smack TFo's Mom on the butt, it is registered as a 6.0 quake in LA...and she lives in Pittsburgh

Charlie Weis applied to be on the Biggest Loser - he said, even though he fits the loser category nicely, he just wasn't fat enough

Oprah calls Charlie for dieting advice, so he can't be that big

Charlie is allowed into an All You Can Eat Buffett and can stay longer than John Pinette who is asked to leave after 4 hours (if you don't know who John Pinette is, check youtube)

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