Throwdowns > Closed

Somebody of Note said 01/29, 08:00 PM
Gu3, I have tolerated your nonsense for far too long. Some of your comments are just silly. Some are ludicrous. However, this one is indefensible.

On January 27, 2009, at 10:38 P.M., you came forth with the following comment:

"I never wear pants."

I'm sorry, but that's inexcusable and unfathomable. As Vizzini from The Princess Bride would say, "Inconceivable!"

Reports have circulated that you and CG have yet to get jiggy. Knowing you and your impulses, though, you must have something preventing you from, erm, acting in that fashion. Presto: pants!

Furthermore, your profile says that you are an all-star in baseball and basketball. Both of those sports require serious pants usage. In baseball, whenever you're sliding into a base a spray of dirt flies up on your pants. Not wearing pants in baseball would give you a sandier crotch than Fizz when he last spent some quality time with a beach in Cancun.

In basketball, you need to wear pants. If you don't, Eddy Curry may lunge at you. Harrumph!

I'd like to see how you dig yourself out of this one, Gu3. Not even pants are going to help you after the mountain of evidence I bury you in.

DEFEND YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!

Somebody of Note said 01/29, 08:41 PM
Man points? Okay, I'll admit that Curry didn't deserve the shot. However, my man point haven't regressed below yours. Showing your tictac to a school full of dudes? Nuh-uh. I think you may be challenging Fizz there, and the last person to come even close before you was a Furby with a vasectomy.

And please don't talk to me about man points. I have evidence that you watch American Idol. That alone is a -5000. American Idol. Not cool man, not cool. Not cool at all.

Pants do not restrict you in the slightest. In fact, they help you. Give you opportunities that you would never have before. Like, say, the ability to have a job, eat in fast food restaurants, and walk two steps in San Francisco without getting pinged.

But the object of this is not to prove the usefulness of pants. It is to show that you do, in fact, wear them. And you have no response to that! NO RESPONSE! You may as well admit it already.

But here's the clincher:

http://www.fannation.com/users/images/89558

Look in the bottom left. Are you not wearing pants in that picture? Because, according to Random House, shorts are merely short pants.

The evidence is overwhelming! You may as well surrender now!

Somebody of Note said 01/29, 09:38 PM
Hot chicks on American Idol? Is that seriously what you're depending on for porn? Or are you angling for Ruben Studdard?

And you mention the hotness factor like that's invisible in The Princess Bride, a classic that was given two thumbs up by Siskel and Ebert? Gentlemen, I give you Robin Wright.

http://tinyurl.com/bvrq6v

Much better than some 400 lb diva from New York that Fizz couldn't even bag.

I don't want to see your pampers. All I want is the truth. That's why I started this Throwdown. I'm protecting the truth, as opposed to those who are protecting their Throwdown records from being sliced by real competition.

The fact remains that pants are a necessity in life, especially when you are walking around in weather colder than Agrippa and CG's relationship. Captain America says you don't have any frostbite in any unfettered places (you never know what exactly goes on in Saint Leo), which shows that you clearly are wearing pants.

In the end, you wouldn't be able to survive without pants. The size of your thang would embarrass a shih-tzu (even one's that has already spent a night with Pitt). You have way too much pride to allow a misplaced baby toe to show.