• 01/29/2009, 08:00PM ET


Somebody of Note (43-13-5) vs Gu3: Hip Hip .... PIE (434-333-58)

Gu3, I have tolerated your nonsense for far too long. Some of your comments are just silly. Some are ludicrous. However, this one is indefensible.

On January 27, 2009, at 10:38 P.M., you came forth with the following comment:

"I never wear pants."

I'm sorry, but that's inexcusable and unfathomable. As Vizzini from The Princess Bride would say, "Inconceivable!"

Reports have circulated that you and CG have yet to get jiggy. Knowing you and your impulses, though, you must have something preventing you from, erm, acting in that fashion. Presto: pants!

Furthermore, your profile says that you are an all-star in baseball and basketball. Both of those sports require serious pants usage. In baseball, whenever you're sliding into a base a spray of dirt flies up on your pants. Not wearing pants in baseball would give you a sandier crotch than Fizz when he last spent some quality time with a beach in Cancun.

In basketball, you need to wear pants. If you don't, Eddy Curry may lunge at you. Harrumph!

I'd like to see how you dig yourself out of this one, Gu3. Not even pants are going to help you after the mountain of evidence I bury you in.


See, this would be a pretty good throwdown and I would have given you props. However, you quoted "The Princess Bride". I now see why you wear pants, it is because you need to hide your va-gina.

Why should I wear pants? I mean pants just restrict you. There is nothing better than coming home after a long day of school (where pants are not needed), start arguing sports on fannation, and feel the breeze. Well, there is what Agrippa does after work - whips off his pants, eats 152 hot wings, and falls asleep watching Sabado Gigante.

You mentioned Eddie Curry. Well, you seem to forget the famous NBA players who have been caught without pants. Kobe Bryant ring a bell? By the way, Eddie Curry's baby momma and infant child was just murdered. You just lost man points and given **** points.

Either way, during a basketball game, i have never worn pants. Every game that I have played in i have worn shorts.

You people who wear pants are just wasting your time and money. I mean, everytime it rains, i get a free washing!

Man points? Okay, I'll admit that Curry didn't deserve the shot. However, my man point haven't regressed below yours. Showing your tictac to a school full of dudes? Nuh-uh. I think you may be challenging Fizz there, and the last person to come even close before you was a Furby with a vasectomy.

And please don't talk to me about man points. I have evidence that you watch American Idol. That alone is a -5000. American Idol. Not cool man, not cool. Not cool at all.

Pants do not restrict you in the slightest. In fact, they help you. Give you opportunities that you would never have before. Like, say, the ability to have a job, eat in fast food restaurants, and walk two steps in San Francisco without getting pinged.

But the object of this is not to prove the usefulness of pants. It is to show that you do, in fact, wear them. And you have no response to that! NO RESPONSE! You may as well admit it already.

But here's the clincher:

Look in the bottom left. Are you not wearing pants in that picture? Because, according to Random House, shorts are merely short pants.

The evidence is overwhelming! You may as well surrender now!

If i say to you, go put on a pair of shorts, you know what I am speaking of... correct? Are you going to go grab a pair of pants? No. Well, you might just to be a diick.

In that picture, I am obviously wearing shorts. Shorts are not pants.

I love how you just ragged on me for watching American Idol. If I am not mistaken, about 40 minutes ago, you quoted The Princess Bride. And just so you didnt know, hot chicks audition for American Idol. And i have HD TV. Even more reasons for me not to wear pants. I mean, if Confucious had HD TV, by the end of the 1st quarter of every Laker game, his coffee table would be stickier than Paris Hilton's forehead.

Yeah, sure, pants are useful in some cases. What else is Porkins going to use as a bib? What else is Captain America going to built his raft out of for his trips to America (he is Puerto Rican). How else is Fizz going to make his dolls more realisitc?

I have finally come to a conclusion here. You are hungry for more info on me not wearing pants, you quote The Princess Bride in doing so, and you live in Canada. I think the only reason this TD was made is for me to send you a photo proving that I do not wear pants.

Hot chicks on American Idol? Is that seriously what you're depending on for ****? Or are you angling for Ruben Studdard?

And you mention the hotness factor like that's invisible in The Princess Bride, a classic that was given two thumbs up by Siskel and Ebert? Gentlemen, I give you Robin Wright.

Much better than some 400 lb diva from New York that Fizz couldn't even bag.

I don't want to see your pampers. All I want is the truth. That's why I started this Throwdown. I'm protecting the truth, as opposed to those who are protecting their Throwdown records from being sliced by real competition.

The fact remains that pants are a necessity in life, especially when you are walking around in weather colder than Agrippa and CG's relationship. Captain America says you don't have any frostbite in any unfettered places (you never know what exactly goes on in Saint Leo), which shows that you clearly are wearing pants.

In the end, you wouldn't be able to survive without pants. The size of your thang would embarrass a shih-tzu (even one's that has already spent a night with Pitt). You have way too much pride to allow a misplaced baby toe to show.

No, American Idol is not what i depend upon for ****. That is what your mother and I's webcam chats every Friday night are for. There IS a reason you aren't allowed in her top drawer of her dresser.

Like I said before, pants just hold you back. Pants restrict you more than the Moderators in the comments. (Hehehe.... just a joke...DON'T HURT ME!)

Think about it now, what if everybody stopped wearing pants? There would be a less amount of money and power spent making pants and more shorts will be made (less fabric). The economy then could be helped. Maybe then, Barack Obama could focus on his Muslim roots or College Football like he wants.

You still have no concrete evidence that I do indeed wear pants. In this TD, you are dancing around in circles more than Lakers#1 during his tribe meetings every Saturday.

Why do hot girls wear short-shorts? Why do muscle men wear sleeve-less sleeves? Why did Agrippa have his green card framed? Simple answer: If you got it, you flaunt it. This is the same answer as to why I do not wear pants. Do I really need to go into much more detail?


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