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  • November 04, 2009 01:33 PM ET

If the MLS started a new Franchise in Bconns backyard it would be a huge success!!

Rawkstar (53-22-7) vs bconngemini9 (3-44-0)
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The Bconn Manlies!!

A team filled with Urlachers and Bradys would dominate the MLS. Their huge pyhton like biceps, and the bench pressing power of the Backyard Boys of Bconn would sweep the MLS.

They would be the most athletic soccer players ever and not be even 1% metro sexual.

I would write more in this argument however this is a known fact and that would be very un-Bconn of me to do.


If I didn't know better, I'd think you were mocking me.

But the fact remains, Brian Urlacher would dominate soccer because he is bigger, stronger, faster than any soccer player. A man who can bench press 300lb surely can kick a ball and push off little 150lb soccer players.

Show me one inch of proof that Brian Urlacher couldn't win the world cup if he wanted to. There is no one to physically stop him, he's 6'4 and 250lb.


Surely you are correct... any guy who can bench press 300lbs can kick a ball. I mean the arm bone is connected to the... foot bone!!!


I am all but 100% certain there are 15 year olds that would dominate Urlacher in soccer. But this is not the point. The point is your MLS soccer team endorsed by manliness and biceps would wipe the competition dry in the league.

Surrounded by fans with powdered muscle milk mustaches and HGH leaking out of every orifice on their body. Players would have biceps on top of their calf muscles and eat the little kids sewing soccer balls after each game.

It is not even close, soccer in your backyard would absolutely be better than on your television.


Those sound about right. Soccer is girly and girls play it, while football is uber manly with big muscles.

I'm ;pretty sure Brian Urlacher would dominate soccer, hes bigger, faster stronger.




This guy is obviously the peak of man hood.

His biceps and pecks are far beyond those of wimpy soccer players, hence my prediction of your soccer team destroying the MLS of fair play is true.

Bconn Manlies would would put the man back into wo"MAN" sports.

Since Urlacher pisses excelence and eats pieces of dung like beckham for breakfast his huge biceps and manly neck muscles would allow him to move around the soccer field with ease and grace but with the power of a Nicole Bass.

If all you will do is agree with me that your Bconn supported soccer team would win... why did you argue its greatness?


Tom Brady is 6'4 which is taller than any soccer player and Im pretty sure he's stronger than any soccer player even though he's far from being what we'd consider a strong NFL player. He would be the guy who kicks accurately, he'd be like Beckham.

Brian Urlacher is definitely 100x manlier and has huge biceps which he'd use to destroy soccer players, he could hold out his hands and push away little unmanly wimps who play soccer, 160lb-er from Costa Rica who play soccer couldn't physically compete with Urlacher and would never be able to do a soccer ball steal (whatever its called). Pele was only 5'10 and 160lb, Urlacher is 6'5 and 250lb, Urlachers masculine neck is thicker than Peles legs, he could head the ball harder than Pele could kick it. Brian Urlcaher would simply bent over and shoulder outmuscle everyone on the soccer field if he wanted to and I'm sure he'd be the best soccer player of all time.

Comments (24) Add A Comment

November 4, 2009  02:11 PM ET
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hmmm.... tell me more....

November 4, 2009  02:13 PM ET
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Uhlacher couldn't run up and down the field constantly for 90+ minutes so eventually he couldn't stop anybody himself.

November 4, 2009  02:25 PM ET
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Not sure where to vote here? Vote for Rawkstar who states that a team of football players could beat current soccer players, or BConn for being completely oblivious to ANYTHING soccer related. Of course Urlacher would SUCK at soccer! Soccer has very little to do with how hard you can strike a ball. H'e make a better placekicker than soccer player.

November 4, 2009  02:27 PM ET
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QUOTE(#3):
Originally posted 02:25 PM ET  11.04 by Stand UP

Not sure where to vote here? Vote for Rawkstar who states that a team of football players could beat current soccer players, or BConn for being completely oblivious to ANYTHING soccer related. Of course Urlacher would SUCK at soccer! Soccer has very little to do with how hard you can strike a ball. H'e make a better placekicker than soccer player.

you would have to read more of Bconns TDs to have a better understanding of what I am saying... I would never expect a team of football players to ever come within 30 goals of a MLS team.

November 4, 2009  02:32 PM ET
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"Surely you are correct... any guy who can bench press 300lbs can kick a ball. I mean the arm bone is connected to the... foot bone!!!"

lol

November 4, 2009  02:42 PM ET
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"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were mocking me." - Right

When you figure that one out, we'll move on to square pegs

and how they don't fit into round holes.

November 4, 2009  06:23 PM ET
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No chance. Brady would have to overcome bconn's repeated attempts to mount and dryhump his leg for the full 90 minutes, rendering him largely ineffective. And undoubtedly Urlacher would be forced to undergo a bconnectomy in order to surgically remove his marbles from bconn's forehead. Although the Manlies certainly pose an imposing force, I just don't see how they could possibly overcome such odds.

November 4, 2009  06:51 PM ET
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vote to rawkstar here

November 5, 2009  02:08 AM ET
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lol
rawkstar
great
TD

November 5, 2009  08:32 AM ET
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rawkstar wins this TD

I'm calling it now.

November 5, 2009  09:51 AM ET
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QUOTE(#10):
Originally posted 08:32 AM ET  11.05 by Illinois Cheesehead

rawkstar wins this TDI'm calling it now.

Don't know, it's pretty close. It's only 11-0

November 5, 2009  10:23 AM ET
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pootietang: that may have been the hardest I have laughed in my life. Great, great response to a completely nonsensical debate.

November 5, 2009  11:50 AM ET
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I can't wait for an Urlacher Bobble-Bicep promo night.

November 5, 2009  12:11 PM ET
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rawkstar sets up a free win, good job

November 5, 2009  12:37 PM ET
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QUOTE(#14):
Originally posted 12:11 PM ET  11.05 by Recession

rawkstar sets up a free win, good job

it was for laughs, obviously this was nothing of true meaning. I at leas hope someone finds it ammusing.

November 5, 2009  12:40 PM ET
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Interesting how Bconn has a major, major bromance on Urlacher and the overall theme is how big, strong, fast, and manly Urlacher is...but I would be doing us all a disservice if I didn't ask the following question:

Is the Urlacher that is the source of Bconn's obsession and arguments of manliness the same Urlacher that has a young son whom Urlacher paints the child's nails?

November 5, 2009  12:49 PM ET
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QUOTE(#7):
Originally posted 06:23 PM ET  11.04 by PootieTang: Bye Bye Barca

No chance. Brady would have to overcome bconn's repeated attempts to mount and dryhump his leg for the full 90 minutes, rendering him largely ineffective. And undoubtedly Urlacher would be forced to undergo a bconnectomy in order to surgically remove his marbles from bconn's forehead. Although the Manlies certainly pose an imposing force, I just don't see how they could possibly overcome such odds.

haHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

November 5, 2009  12:55 PM ET
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I just hope the excitment of bconns is not too much to overcome when he see brady shirtless. His man crush might quickly turn ugly and he could go into a really dramatic bromantical rage.

November 5, 2009  01:02 PM ET
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QUOTE(#18):
Originally posted 12:55 PM ET  11.05 by Rawkstar

I just hope the excitment of bconns is not too much to overcome when he see brady shirtless. His man crush might quickly turn ugly and he could go into a really dramatic bromantical rage.

As if the thought of playing center for the Pats wearing assless chaps, with Brady absolutely PROHIBITED from any shotgun formations isn't replayed in bconn's mind every 10 minutes or so...

 
November 5, 2009  01:05 PM ET
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QUOTE(#19):
Originally posted 01:02 PM ET  11.05 by PootieTang: Bye Bye Barca

As if the thought of playing center for the Pats wearing assless chaps, with Brady absolutely PROHIBITED from any shotgun formations isn't replayed in bconn's mind every 10 minutes or so...

HA

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