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  • 02/19/2011, 09:15PM ET

Predator is the most manly movie ever made

9
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15
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If you are a man, I'm sure you will agree. If not, then proceed to exit this TD immediately. Its too manly for you to even comprehend. I am going to give you 7 reasons why Predator is the most manly movie ever made.

1. Guns. And lots of them. Machine guns, grenade launchers, mini guns. They had enough fire power to wipe out Walmart on Black Friday.

2. Blood. Always a must. Skinned bodies, blown of heads, spines being ripped out. More blood than a vampire after hours rave.

3. Bad ass alien. How is a 7 foot alien, who is the ultimate killing machine, not just a great villain?

4. Laughs. Arnold with his classic one liner. "Whats the matter Dillon, the CIA gotcha pushing too many pencils?" Or Hawking **** jokes? Good stuff.

5. Muscles. Arnold, Carl Weather, Jesse the Bod. These guys got up nice and early on set to lift weights and splurge on steroids. Pretty cool.

6. Only one chick. Chicks in bad ass movies really have no place. Anna was barely in the movie and she usually shut her mouth so that was good.

7. Great ending. Only two survivors. Thats realistic. I hate the sappy, happy ending crap.

All in all this movie is more manly than the entire FN times a 1000.


I enjoy your regular paeans to Arnold as much as the next guy, but I submit that Predator's version of manliness is an anachronism. Real manliness involves plots and characters who embody the traits that make a male a "man". I will provide 3 movies that are more "manly" than Predator' all of which are better movies as well.

Example #1: Saving Private Ryan

This movie shows what it really means to be a man. A "man" isn't the guy with the biggest muscles. It isn't the guy with the biggest gun or the guy with the cheesiest quip. A man is the guy who knows what needs to be done and does it, even when the consequences are dire.

Let's look at the "manly" traits in this movie:

Courage: The ability to overcome ones fears, even if it means you may die.

Loyalty: Refusing to leave your group because they need you.

Sacrifice: Giving your life so a mother doesn???t receive a death notice for all of her sons.

In the movie, when Miller tells Ryan to "earn this" you know that he understands what it means to be a man. When Ryan asks his wife to tell him that he has led a good life, you know he took it to heart.

Saving Private Ryan is manlier than Predator.


SPR. Good flick. But does not have the manliness of Predator. First off, it does not have the 7 foot alien, who has predatory skills unmatched. Also how can you compare Tom Hanks to Arnold on the Manliness scale? Its Arnold all day. Not even close.

A man definitely has the biggest muscles. No muscles in Saving PR. All muscles in Predator. Of course muscles has to do with being a man. Its in the man bible.

SPR has that female aspect to it. Its sad, its black, and its tear worthy. None of that is in Predator. You have dudes with big muscles, chewing, smoking cigars, and talking ****. Thats what men do.

Any scenes like this in Predator?



I don't think so.

And you bring up loyalty and define it as "Refusing to leave your group because they need you."

How bout this as loyalty?



In the end of Predator, I know what makes a man. A man, that does not back down from a 7 foot killing machine.



That takes balls, and balls is what makes a man. Arnold has balls, DJ does not.


"Any scenes like this in Predator?"



Real men understand continuity. I kid???


If one were to believe my opponent, "manliness" involves running around in a jungle screaming unintelligible dialog in a pseudo-Teutonic accent. It's more than that my friends. Much more.

Example #2: The Shawshank Redemption

Let's review the "manly" traits displayed in this movie:

Hope: Andy (the protagonist) is wrongly convicted of a crime he didn't commit, but he kept hope alive. He refused to get institutionalized to prison and continued to seek for ways to acquit him of the crimes for which he was convicted. Real men don't quit just because the odds are against him.

Perseverance: Andy took 20+ years of chipping away at his wall with a rock hammer to earn his freedom. No one ever said that being a man was going to be easy.

Friendship: The real message of this movie was the power of relationships. Andy and Red forged a real friendship based on shared experiences. When they were reunited at the end of the movie, you knew that their friendship had saved both of them.

The Shawshank Redemption is much manlier than Predator.


Two solid choices from my counterpart here. But a few things. First, those movies just have too much emotion in them. Emotion is for females and girly men. Predator has none of that. Its pure, unadulterated testosterone.

Now. I'll tell you exactly why Predator is the manliest movie ever made, and why its a legit TD topic. Why does the Predator hunt these commandos in the jungle? He does it for SPORT. His trophy's are the skulls of his victims.

Thats badass. So you see, the sports aspect has come into play here. Its Predator vs an elite team of commandos and the playing field is a jungle in South America. Thats much more entertaining than any basketball, football, baseball game.

Lastly, what the missing ingredient to those two films you list? Its ARNIE. Thats right. Any manly movie needs the lead character to be a red meat eating, steroid popping, sexual harasser, anti commie, Republican to be the lead role.



In closing, what makes Predator the manliest film ever made is its a film with the 7 things I listed above, plus the sporting aspect to it, and the ultimate male playing the lead. No film can compete


Finally, we come to the Holy Grail of manliness, the sum of all manly wisdom - The Godfather

It is the alpha and omega of "manly" movies. The Godfather contains quotable wisdom for all men with respect to almost any area of their lives:

Priorities: Clemenza shows the importance of priorities with "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli"

Marriage: Michael shows a man's role when he tells Kay "This is the one time I'll let you ask about my affairs."

Parenting: Don Vito shows how to parent with "I have a sentimental weakness for my children and I spoil them as you can see. They talk when they should listen"

Honor: Don Vito shows how to be a man of honor with "I swear, on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace we have made here today"

Man's role: Don Vito shows a man's role in the world with: "I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men."

The Godfather tells us all how we are supposed to act as men. No matter what situation a man finds himself in, there is likely a solution found in the wisdom of the film. The Godfather is much manlier than Predator.

February 19, 2011  09:17 PM ET

Again, Jim?

February 19, 2011  09:17 PM ET

Oh my! I so agree!

February 19, 2011  09:17 PM ET
QUOTE(#1):

Again, Jim?

What's one more gonna hurt, Willie?

Comment #4 has been removed
February 19, 2011  09:24 PM ET
QUOTE(#4):

Was going to save it for the invitation finals with you, but Im not so sure we're gonna meet up.

Have you already done your semifinal? Chosen and I are going to do ours next week.

February 19, 2011  09:24 PM ET
QUOTE(#4):

Was going to save it for the invitation finals with you, but Im not so sure we're gonna meet up.

How about a porn movie Jimbo.

Isn't that more manly?

February 19, 2011  09:26 PM ET
QUOTE(#4):

Was going to save it for the invitation finals with you, but Im not so sure we're gonna meet up.

Let's do this.

Comment #7 has been removed
Comment #9 has been removed
Comment #10 has been removed
February 19, 2011  09:28 PM ET
QUOTE(#9):

Only one chick

that hurts your argument.

February 19, 2011  09:28 PM ET
QUOTE(#9):

See #6 on my list.

Fair enough.

Comment #13 has been removed
February 19, 2011  09:29 PM ET
QUOTE(#10):

Uh oh WWJ seems motivated.

Not really. More bored than anything else. I gotta cook up some dinner and make a beer run then I'll put up an argument. Probably get deleted anyway.

Comment #15 has been removed
Comment #16 has been removed
February 19, 2011  09:32 PM ET
QUOTE(#16):

Wouldn't be the 1st time. Mods like to ruin a good time.

At least you are relentless.

Comment #18 has been removed
February 19, 2011  09:33 PM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Copy and paste is a great tool.

Very nice. Very true.

 
Comment #20 has been removed

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