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  • 10/03/2011, 06:09PM ET

10 Commandments of FN

8
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8
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It's about time we get these down on paper. We'll start at 10 and go backwards.

10. Cowboys suck. This one is pretty self-evident. Did you see that game yesterday? I've not seen a team suck like that in a long time. Romo can only hit the open defender in the 2nd half of a game at this point.

9. Hockey is played by real men. Not one of those pansy sports like soccer, those guys fall at the first breeze of someone going by them. Henrik and Daniel Sedin look like tough guys compared to those floppers. Tough soccer player is the biggest oxymoron, ever.

8. There is no such thing as chemistry in baseball. Talking about chemistry in baseball may be the stupidest thing. ever. I'm sure if the gun laws were lax in the 70's, half the Yankees would be dead.


You have taken an interesting view on this but if we're going with commandments I will use a more biblical approach. Although I can't argue with any of the above.

10. Thou shalt not correct spelling. Only a complete tool corrects other peoples spelling. This should be more towards #1 but I wanted to make sure this got in. Nothing says, "I'm an insecure tool who has nothing to contribute" or "I don't have a point ao I'll point out a typo" then correcting spelling. If you know what the person is saying they got their point across.

9. Thou shalt not be more of a homer then Outlaw. The man thinks Chipper Jones is better then Mike Schmidt was. He thought Uggla was a top 3 2nd baseman coming into the year.

8. Thou shalt not be more argumentative then AllStarz. You can say "grass is green" and the guy will argue with you for 15 pages. By page 7 you have no idea what you were arguing about to begin with but that won't stop him. If you like to argue more then him you should have your head held under water until the bubbles stop.


OK, I like where this is going.

7. Thou shall not be a bigger prick than Roy. This seems impossible, but I've seen people trying to get to that bar. You can be as big as one as Roy, but to become bigger is truly wrong. Some things should be left alone.

6. Thou shall not leave 3,000 character comments in threads. Seriously, we have a tough enough time with attention span and no one cares that much. If you think someone cares about your post that much, make a blog and watch the no traffic that comes to it.

5. Thou shall not take thyself so seriously. If you are one of those who thinks everything you say matters, guess what, it doesn't. If you are one of those who does take yourself too seriously, be ready for all the ridicule that comes with that.


Once again I cannot argue with the above, I can just try to do better. You took my "Thou shalt not leave manifestos" with your #6 so I'll have to reconsider direction.

7. Mets and Red Sox fans shalt not mention the Yankee's payroll. Why is it the fans of the teams with the 2nd highest and depending on the year anywhere from the 6th to the 3rd highest payrolls think they have the right to comment on the Yanks? As if the Royal's fans are sitting there saying, "If the Yanks only spent 170 million like the Red Sox there would be an even playing field.
6. Thou shalt not FM people about your TD's - That's just ridiculous and desperate. "Oh, come look at my TD and all the valuable information on it that displays my indepth knowledge of sports". Roy was well known for doing this but he wasn't alone. If you didn't get enough attention from your Mom growing up don't look for it here.
5. Thou shalt not compare meaningless stats- Some people think stats are the only thing that matters and they cherry pick the stats they think count. They ignore common sense, differences in ball parks, eras etc. Try to show you know something about the sport rather then your googling expertise.


Again, I can't argue.

4. Thou shall not create TD's to advertise blogs. If people want to read your blog, they'll find it. You are just making yourself look desperate by "advertising" blogs in self-made TD's.

3. Thou shall not facelift bar, no matter how many times someone asks you to do it. We all know the temptation to do so, to feel accepted by foreigners who won't see you anyway, but please resist the urge, at all costs.

2. Thou shall not state that "Player A" doesn't use steroids. No one has any way of knowing who does and doesn't cheat, and most likely, most are cheating in one way or another. Blindly stating a player doesn't use steroids make you look foolish.

1. Thou shall not take NASCAR seriously as a sport. Let's be honest for a few minutes, you are watching cars drive in circles all day. The cars are the "athletes", and even then, most of them are cheating anyway. Isn't the slogan, "If'n you ain't cheatin' with your sister on your cousin, you ain't racin'"?


Tough to top those. Letting you go first may have been a tactical error. However:

4. Thou shalt not report posts or TD's as offensive. No one is holding a gun to your head to read the threads and if you have zero sense of humor move the **** along so we don't hurt your little feelings. There's a difference between racial humor and racism. Sure we walk a fine line, or in Bass' case jump in with both feet but it's all in good humor.
3. Thou shalt not start a TD about Pete Rose and the Hall of fame. Why not just walk into a guitar store and start playing stairway to heaven? It's been done to death and we're all sick and tired of it.
2. Thou shalt not have dupes for reasons other then humor. We have lost countless excellent alters who never voted in a TD because of tools creating dupes to vote. Who doesn't miss Deadhorse, The Racist DA from Law and Order and so many more of our lost friends from the animal kingdom?
1. Thou shalt not take TD's and your record in them seriously. This will probably lose me the TD but if you care about winning these things and have hundreds of them do us all a favor. Get a life, kiss a girl (Or a guy if you go that way), have a beer.

October 3, 2011  06:18 PM ET

The over/under on this being cancelled is tomorrow at 8am

Comment #2 has been removed
October 3, 2011  06:24 PM ET
QUOTE(#1):

The over/under on this being cancelled is tomorrow at 8am

After what I post, I'm going under.

October 3, 2011  06:25 PM ET
QUOTE(#2):

What if there's no body of water deep enough to hold your head under it?

In that case you get thrown from a helicopter

October 3, 2011  06:26 PM ET

ao



Wait...never mind.

October 3, 2011  06:29 PM ET

Schade:

10. Cowboys do not suck. The Vikings and Dolphins suck. Romo is inconsistent. Always has been, always will be.

9. Agreed.

8. Of course there is "chemistry" in baseball. Just as there is in football, basketball and marriage. You know, team sports!

JC:

10. Everyone knows who you're talking about. No need for the name calling.

9. Is it even possible for ANYONE to be more of a homer than Outlaw? I think NOT!

8. I've had no interaction with this AllStarz person so, no comment.

October 3, 2011  06:29 PM ET

Schad, don't forget that it is a FN rule that you must mention Eric Gregg and/or the liberal strike zone given to Maddux and Glavine a minimum of 3 times a month.

The liberal part should be easy for you to remember.

October 3, 2011  06:30 PM ET

Carry on....

October 3, 2011  06:31 PM ET

"I don't have a point ao I'll point out a typo"

*so

Comment #10 has been removed
October 3, 2011  06:33 PM ET
QUOTE(#6):

Schade:10. Cowboys do not suck. The Vikings and Dolphins suck. Romo is inconsistent. Always has been, always will be.9. Agreed.8. Of course there is "chemistry" in baseball. Just as there is in football, basketball and marriage. You know, team sports!JC:10. Everyone knows who you're talking about. No need for the name calling.9. Is it even possible for ANYONE to be more of a homer than Outlaw? I think NOT!8. I've had no interaction with this AllStarz person so, no comment.

HEY! These are my commandments and I will put them out their as I see fit. And how can I name call without using a name? SXM used to bust my chops about punctuation all the time so it's not limited to one tool.

October 3, 2011  06:33 PM ET
QUOTE(#9):

"I don't have a point ao I'll point out a typo"*so

Well dont Sir

October 3, 2011  06:34 PM ET
QUOTE(#12):

Well dont Sir

done

October 3, 2011  06:35 PM ET
QUOTE(#13):

done

Correcting your own typos when the sentence made no sense doesn't count.

October 3, 2011  06:37 PM ET
QUOTE(#11):

HEY! These are my commandments and I will put them out their as I see fit. And how can I name call without using a name? SXM used to bust my chops about punctuation all the time so it's not limited to one tool.

LMAO!!!

Okay, okay, okay!! Go on then!

October 3, 2011  06:38 PM ET
QUOTE(#10):

I'm sure Trooper could contribute one...

But only one....

October 3, 2011  06:39 PM ET
QUOTE(#7):

Schad, don't forget that it is a FN rule that you must mention Eric Gregg and/or the liberal strike zone given to Maddux and Glavine a minimum of 3 times a month.The liberal part should be easy for you to remember.

Give me time....the big ones are coming.

October 3, 2011  06:39 PM ET
QUOTE(#10):

I'm sure Trooper could contribute one...

Thou shalt not take era's outside the AL East seriously

October 3, 2011  06:40 PM ET
QUOTE(#7):

Schad, don't forget that it is a FN rule that you must mention Eric Gregg and/or the liberal strike zone given to Maddux and Glavine a minimum of 3 times a month.The liberal part should be easy for you to remember.

JC already beat me to the Braves mention, anyway. Posting more would simply be piling on.

 
October 3, 2011  06:40 PM ET
QUOTE(#18):

Thou shalt not take era's outside the AL East seriously

That's the one.

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