Throwdowns > Closed

williewilliejuan said 05/19, 01:27 AM
At first, hunting seems like a good choice. Arnie has made a lot of movies where he handles weapons and he has a well-documented history of stalking and cornering beasts. Unfortunately, that history tells us he's much more likely to sleep with the beast than kill it.



Arnie's also not the most stealthy individual. Maybe it's different in Europe, but here in America, this kind of thing scares off prey.



Arnie's an actor. He may be able to pretend to be a hunter. Hell, he pretended to be attracted to Maria for over 25 years just to further his political goals. However, the one thing he can't pretend to be is something other than a fruity European. Seriously, the guy has been in the US for over 40 years and still only speaks English a little better than alacran.

If there was ever any doubt that Arnie was a fruity European, here he is at the beach:



The only thing that says "fruity European" more than old dudes in banana hammocks is soccer. Arnie would have been a natural at soccer, which I will detail in my next arguments.

williewilliejuan said 05/20, 01:53 AM
Interesting that the pic you chose to demonstrate Arnie's "manliness" features 4 dudes and only 2 chicks... Anyhoo

As you mentioned, Arnie actually played soccer as a child. Until a recent political disagreement, there was a soccer stadium that bore his name in his native Austria. In 2009, Arnie led the charge to bring the World Cup back to the US, and was quoted as saying "It's the number one sport in the world and the World Cup is the world's number one sporting event. Let's bring it back to the USA." Arnie is and has always been a big fan of soccer.

But let's look a little closer at the demands of soccer and why Arnie would be a natural for the sport:

Running: From his movie The Running Man to his bid for Governor to running from Maria and her attorneys, Arnie is a man on the move.

Sticking a ball in a big opening: We discussed Ms. Baena in the first argument

Flopping: Arnie knows flops. Last Action Hero; Jingle All the Way; Batman and Robin...

Here's Arnie apologizing for his work in the last one:



Keeping your hands to yourself: Well... you can't expect to get them all.

MTC

williewilliejuan said 05/21, 08:27 PM
I'm disappointed in you, Jim. More importantly, Arnie is disappointed in you. Over the years, I have seen you write on many occasions how Arnie is the ultimate alpha male. I have seen you extol his overall excellence at anything he puts his heart and mind to. I have also seen you state on several occasions (including this one) how soccer is a sport for girls and pansies. So, how is it that you are now insinuating that Arnie - the ultimate alpha male - wouldn't be able to succeed at soccer?

So, let me help you out. Arnie wouldn't just excel at soccer - he'd dominate it. Hunting is a sport for real men. Arnie would probably do fine at it, but he would also be compared against real men when determining his greatness. In soccer, he would be competing against...well...soccer players. Are you seriously trying to tell me that Arnie wouldn't destroy a bunch of soccer wimps? Please. He'd own every record in the book.

I'm sure if Arnie is reading this TD, this is how he would feel about your lack of faith in his abilities:



Well, I don't doubt Arnie's ability to succeed in soccer. Not one bit.