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  • 05/21/2012, 02:03AM ET

Hey Mom, i want goobers with my popcorn!

PCH-R. Barber best BUC eva (926-1535-406) vs Bloggers Needed (1094-336-89)
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I don't know if anybody knows, but Jose Canseco called out Shaq, he said he wanted to fight him, mma style.. lmao no joke.. check youtube if you don't believe me, i'm honestly too lazy to post...

We all know Shaq would demolish Canseco..

I mean, Hong Man Choi made Canseco look like a little girly..

Shaq, his vicious punch he tried on Brad Miller that time, Bulls? Wow, if he woulda connected, it would been Mark McGwire '98, out the park. hahaaa

sorry, might actual post that youtube next go 'round..

I don't know what i'm gettting by this, but i will say, i would love to see this fight.

I know it wouldn't be very competitive, but I think Jose's barked up the wrong fence this time. I guess he could try a drop kick to shaq's legs, at the beginning of the fight.


Once again, you have taken the tact of the popular blowhard vs the douchey minority.

Geez.

First of all, Jose has been in a fight, people have hit him for REAL. Shaq hasn't been hit for real by anyone but his daddy since third grade.

NBA fights havnt been real since Dr J sucker-punched Larry Bird.

Ooooooooh what if that Punch on Miller had connected?

What if I had got those extra 5 powerball numbers I almost got? That's my point, Shaq has a HUGE reach- and STILL missed! Not like Miller was ducking and weaving! Shaq treated the punch like it was a free throw (and cheapshot) and MISSED!

Jose is broke, so he's been working, he still has some muscles left, he still has to break a sweat to survive.

Shaq is rich, the only time he sweats is putting on his belt (Kenny Smith helps with his shoes, and Ernie does his tie) or when he can't read his cue-card- witch is more wooden than he is.

Shaq has to be 400+ by now. Jose goes to Xtreme Couture, learns an ankle pick and Shaq is on his back, unable to get up, in a pool of sweat.

Not to mention did you PLAY Shaq-fu? Jose had the better game.


Actually i did play Shaq Fu, thanks for asking, it was playing on my old snes.

Yeah, Shaq is Huge bro..

Hahahaha

Canseco, he's already fallen to a giant. Shaq's been training mma for some time now, behind the scenes. Shaq's a freak athlete, remember when he was dominating Rik Smits, 2001?


lol

Nah, Shaq's too big bro, plain and simple... I get that you can learn different things, but we're talking about shaq and jose.. Jose won't even fight his own fight. Like i stated earlier, Ozzie mighg be fighting Shaq by the end of it..lmao


Whatever NC, popularity, hilarious outcome, overweight skill here.

Fighting is Fighting at the end of the day. To see these two AllowED to throw punches, clear brilliance.


Ok, lets get down to brass tacks.

Jose is an aged baseball player, who is a loon.

Shaq is aging, has a bad back, knee, and is habitually lazy. Not to mention a Yokozuna type frame.

You think this fights going to happen in Vegas?

You think this fight can even take place in a casino on Indian Land?

No way Jose

So we have gotta goto

J-A-P-A-N

And you know what that means.

ROIDS

Guess who not only has the Fight Experience, but the Roid knowledge?

JOSE! You think Shaq knows witch way a needle points? Is he going to have to bring Roger Clements or Big Mac to do this? What about Barry Bonds?

Notice all these guys are BASEBALL GUYS.

Jose can roid-up like that dude on League of Distinguished Gentlemen who drank the whole vial from Mr Hype.
You can't roid Fat. You can stick all the juice you want in your bum, but you still have to get in the gym to build muscle.

Think Shaq can do 10 pushups? If/When Jose gets him down, can Shaq even get up on his own power?

Guess what that means

SOCCER KICK to the HEAD!

Jose needs the cash, He's gonna train.

Shaq's gonna be like a fat Rampage Jackson in Japan.


haha

nice last line..

anywho, Shaq doesn't have Yoko type size. I mean, yeah, the dude's a GIANT, but he has more agility, lets just be REAL..

yeah, Jose Canseco is snitch. Yeah, he made money off his old friends. Bad or Good, I'd rather have shaq's wrap sheet, so lets keep it movi'N..

Shaq is 7 foot, what's Jose, like 6'4??

Shaq is cleary the stronger specimen here.

Jose Canseco is a BASEBALL PLAYER.. AT least shaq's legs kept moving, it takes a lot to run up and down those courts, consistently. No wonder his leg went out, really. I mean, givin his frame, his output on the legs, for his craft..

Canseco's straight garbage. The only thing he was ever good at, Homeruns. When he first started, he was kinda fast. The last time i've seen a highlight of Canseco, a ball boinked off his head, then went over the fence for a damn homerun. lol

Shaq missed at Miller, you're right, but he had everything and his might into that punch. Shaq would not go into a match mma match like James Toney, All i'm sayin


Let's Break this down

Experience: Jose
He's been in the cage, and he's been in a real fight. Got his butt kicked, but again. Neither guy he fought is exactly Bob Sapp of the past 3-4 years

Reach: Shaq - Duh

Endurance: Jose
I've seen Shaq get winded taking off his warm-ups in Boston

Boxing: Jose
I've seen Jose LAND a punch. Shaq is what 0-5 in cheapshots, er punches?

Kicks: Jose
If Canseco can get his foot past his knees he wins this round

Touchness: Jose
I've seen Shaq get shoved around by Small Forwards in the NBA, and dunked on by Guards. Jose has had to stand there KNOWING he's gonna get a mid-90s in his side.

Will: Jose
Jose has to win, or he's back to signing cards in front of Winn-Dixie. Shaq gets to go back to national TV and laugh at Sir Charles. Hmmmmm who wants out faster?

Trainers: Shaq
He can afford the best, just like Hershel Walker and Bobby Lashley and James Toney

Crowd: Jose
Japan loves the underdog, and you can't understand Shaq in English, let alone Japanese.

Sorry Shaq, but Jose is gonna Soccer-Kick you till you tap.

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May 21, 2012  02:28 AM ET

I remember the story were Shaquille O'Neal punched Greg Ostertag during a Utah practice. If Shaq connected a punch on Canseco it would be adios amigos.

Comment #4 has been removed
May 21, 2012  02:36 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

I think Shaq is more fat than muscle at this point. Not sure that he has the stamina to be adios-ing anybody.

Jose didn't look so good against Hong Man Choi.

http://www.btls.com/news/stories/jose-canseco-knockout.html

May 21, 2012  02:41 AM ET

Even Vai Sakehema at 5' 9" beat up on Jose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoAUP4ufh7s

May 21, 2012  02:44 AM ET
QUOTE(#4):

I think Shaq is more fat than muscle at this point. Not sure that he has the stamina to be adios-ing anybody.

You'll enjoy this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQySYfS8tW4

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May 21, 2012  06:52 AM ET

Fight wouldn't be interesting

May 21, 2012  12:03 PM ET
QUOTE(#4):

I think Shaq is more fat than muscle at this point. Not sure that he has the stamina to be adios-ing anybody.

Or the power to knock out anybody either!

May 21, 2012  02:59 PM ET

Well... they didn't make Shaq-Fu for nothing...

May 21, 2012  05:08 PM ET

Excellent TD title.
Leaning left for Peachy and Shaq.
Hopefully Jose gets a payday and a beatdown.

Comment #18 has been removed
May 22, 2012  12:01 AM ET

I'm breaking out the R word next arg.

 
Comment #20 has been removed

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