- 07/20/2012, 12:57PM ET
JimJ77 Best in the World! said 07/20, 12:57 PM
So Mr. S and I, some of you refer to him as Arnie, Arnold, or God, were having a protein shake after deadlifts and squats when the topic of the new Total Recall movie came up. And no I will not explain what deadlifts and squats are you skinny weaklings.
Most of you flood pant wearing nerds and 14 year old jerkoffs have probably never seen the cinematic classic Total Recall. Here is a glimpse at the mastery.
Now, this blasphemous remake is about to hit theaters and I command you not to go see this dreadful movie starring Colin Farrell. I know you losers think guys like Colin Farrell are so cool, and I bet a lot of you weasels think he's even cute, but this man is a disgrace and couldn't hold Mr. S bodybuilding speedo.
I'm fed up with the remakes of Arnold's movies and you tools should be too. It's time you put down your National Gay News magazines and protested these remakes.
Mr. S has reached his breaking point, and will lay his wrath upon on you tools. He will take away your videogame chairs, computers, lotions, comic books, storm trooper outfits, and whatever else you hold precious if not.
DO_WORK_SON said 07/21, 03:57 PM
Let's be honest... You were doing barbell curls in the squat rack when the Austrian Oak made you move so he could train squats and deadlifts...
That's a far cry from training with him.
I will be the first to agree with you that Colin Farrell is a poor choice for the role of Quaid/Hauser. Honestly, though, who could replace Arnold? Sure, I would have preferred it if they had gone with, say, Dwayne Johnson or even Will Smith, admittedly 2 of my favorite actors, but could either of them replace Schwarzenegger? Not a chance.
That being said, a remake of 'Total Recall' is a great idea. When 'Total Recall' was released in 1990, calling the available version of 'special effects' unimpressive would be an understatement. With today's technology, i.e. CGI, the possiblities are endless. Even with Colin Farrell filling the role of Quaid/Hauser, the 2012 version of Mars has to be better than the 1990 version.
I'd love to argue Jessica Biel vs. Rachel Ticotin or Kate Beckinsale vs. Sharon Stone, but in reality, that's a wash to me.
However, I am interested to see Kaitlyn Leeb as the "Seductive Woman" (three breasts) in the remake...
JimJ77 Best in the World! said 07/21, 05:37 PM
Incorrect minion. You obviously don't know the close relationship Mr. S and I have. We Skype together every morning. I merely pass along messages because Mr. S is a big supporter of this site and has chosen me, his son, to deliver said messages.
You have already lost this TD by accepting it. This TD was delivered by Mr. S himself and I am simply passing it along to you and your girly figured loser friends.
Would you not obey the bible? You can if you want but you will not enter the Kingdom of God. In this case you have flat out disobeyed a direct command from the King of Kings himself, Arnold.
Its obvious to me you have a love affair with Mr. Farrell. His boyish good looks and charismatic nature have you thinking with your little head, not the big one.
You can argue semantics about film vs film all day, but the fact of the matter is, all of that is moot.
This was a test for you and your nerdy pimple popper friends. You have failed miserably. Now I must pass this back to Mr. S and he will decide your fate.
Have fun watching Total Recall while eating barrels full of popcorn and laughing while your chins flop uncontrollably. Your kind disgusts me and Arnold.
DO_WORK_SON said 07/21, 08:25 PM
My apologies. I certainly thought this was a throwdown about Total Recall (1990) vs. Total Recall (2012). I was unaware that it was truly a throwdown about your homosexual affair with Arnold Swarzenegger. There is no denying that Arnold was a great bodybuilder and great actor. Unfortunately, there is also no denying that he prefers men. Here are the top reasons:
1. Posing Trunks - There's only one reason someone would want to be paraded around on stage with 20 other men in speedo-like attire.
2. Hummer - Only a man trying to disguise his inner femininity would feel the need to spend so much on such a worthless vehicle.
3. Maria Shriver and Mildred Patricia Baena - Do you need an explanation for this? What straight man, with women fawning over him, would choose these women?
4. 'Pumping Iron' Interview - Arnold stated that the pump he got when working out was "better than having sex with a woman and cumming." Of course it was for him. He was spending hours watching muscled men workout and then showering with them. What he meant was the pump he gets under the belt from watching these men was better than being with a woman...
JimJ77 Best in the World! said 07/22, 05:41 PM
1. Studies have shown men who accuse other men of being gay, are in fact gay themselves. Arnie and I appreciate your honesty and coming out of the closet. We applaud your courage. Unfortunately for you, you cannot enter our alpha male realm. Sorry, no offense you and your assless chaps, DVDs of Will and Grace, and your boyfriend Chuck.
2. Misquoting Mr. S is a serious offense. In fact what Mr. S said was that the pump he got was like cumming with a woman. Not better. Its obvious to me that you were so turned on by Arnold's declaration that you heard what you wanted to hear. Sick.
3. I noticed that is you in your Av. I find it refreshing that you are so willing to put your **** out there for everyone to see. My only question is, was that Chuck **** you or were you cheating on him that day?
This TD was not about Total Recall vs Total Recall, it was to strike down all that are against Mr. S and his brilliance as an actor. These remakes are a stain on the legend that is Arnold.
Not only have to disobeyed Mr. S, you have sullied his name and reputation. For that, you will be ushered to purgatory.
In conclusion, you are fat. Thank You and good day.
DO_WORK_SON said 07/22, 08:30 PM
Once again, you have my sincere apologies for misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger. That quote gives rise to the idea that he is, in fact, a bisexual rather than a full-fledged homosexual.
Well, it seems as though WillieWillieJuan has done quite the job at delivering my 3rd argument for me. No need to beat a dead horse. Though Arnold Schwarzenegger may be a switch-hitter, I think it is clear to everyone that he is the true meat gazer in this conversation.
If you must worship someone in the strength sports world, let me point you toward Ed Coan, the true King of Kings. A god among men. A man whose strength accomplishments will be held in regard for decades. He would never prance around on a stage in his underwear; however, he has been seen spitting out blood after squats and passing out after deadlifts...
BTW, I can only wish that was me in the avatar. That man is none other than Jeremy Hoornstra, one of the greatest benchers of all time and another man that puts your gay Arnold to shame...
In conclusion, you spend far too much time staring at men in their banana hammocks.
|4||JimJ77 Best in the World!||129||53||26||68.3%|
|10||PCH-R. Barber best BUC eva||924||1535||406||39.3%|
- Fantasy baseball Prospect Watch: Yelich's call-up approaches
- Fantasy baseball Weekend Primer: Stream McAllister, McCarthy
- Fantasy baseball Stat Focus: Tim Lincecum's low O-Swing
- Fantasy baseball Trade Tips: Buy Ryu, sell Zimmerman
- Fantasy baseball roundtable: Is Harvey the best pitcher now?
- Awful Announcing
- Free Darko
- Pro Football Talk
- The Big Lead
- Joe Posnanski
- The Sporting Blog
- Big League Stew
- Bugs and Cranks
- Every day Should Be Saturday
- Mr. Irrelevant
- With Leather
- The Sports Hernia